TIPS ON COMPLEMENTING UR WOMAN

Complimenting women is a good way to initiate and maintain a romantic relationship with them. Sincere compliments can melt the heart of the most hardhearted woman. It is important to discover the areas which are close to her heart, and direct your compliments to these.
Complimenting a woman you are interested in can be an easy and effective way to make her feel special. Unfortunately, many men do not know the right method of dishing out compliments. They will either state the most common and obvious things or overuse compliments so that they become empty and meaningless. It is worth learning the art of complimenting women if you want to win their attention. Here are some tips to make your compliments work.

1) Don't compliment her too often on her looks
Beautiful women are used to men fawning over their looks, so they are bored with comments about their physical attributes. Besides no woman wants to feel that she is liked only for her body. Giving her compliments like 'You are so gorgeous' is like putting her on a pedestal as if she intimidates you and she will be doing you a favor by going out with you. Instead, compliment a woman on things that she can control and do, like how smart she is or how good she is with children, pets, etc. Better to tell her she is sweet rather than beautiful!

2) Use compliments optimally
If you are complimenting women too often the compliments lose value and meaning and you appear to them like a wimp always seeking their approval and approbation. Don't over-compliment, especially a person you don't know well. She might feel like she's being mauled. Discover what a woman really likes and compliment her on that. You could do well by dishing out like, one sincere compliment a day.

3) Improve your vocabulary
Use more meaningful words while complimenting a woman. Instead of saying "You are pretty", you could use words like lovely, stunning, elegant, radiant, dazzling, divine etc. 'You are pretty' sounds like a boy to his first crush.

4) Don't use generic compliments
Such as " You look beautiful tonight'. You may be perfectly sincere while using such compliments but they sound unoriginal and boring. Your date must have heard this several hundred times. A better way of complimenting a woman may be," Of all the girls out here, I think you are the prettiest." This sounds natural and makes a woman feel good in comparison with her competitors.

5) Don't lie
Phony compliments fall flat on the target. People can smell a lie from any distance. The result would be disastrous and you could never score with that woman again.

6) Be generous with compliments to your steady girlfriend/wife
Once you are hooked up with a woman for a long time, it is not good to be stingy with the compliments. In fact, be generous with compliments, like the clothes she wears, her shoes or how she looks. "You look wonderful tonight' is a great way to compliment a woman who has taken pains to look good as your mate for the night's outing.

7) Be unique
A woman was flattered when a man told her, " You have the most amazing eyes. They are all green but brown in the center." Not even her hubby of 10 years had noticed this. While complimenting women, a man must take care to observe everything about them carefully, and show his interest and involvement through his compliments.

8) Be careful
While complimenting a woman, one has to be very careful that it is not perceived the wrong way. Avoid references to her weight or emotionalism. A simple "You look nice today" may be interpreted as you look terrible every other day. But occasionally a well-timed compliment may be received favorably. If she replies with more than five
words, "That is kind of you", it may hint at her growing interest in you.

9) Balance compliments
With every one compliment you give her, jest or poke fun at her insecurities at least two times (but all in good taste and humor) That will make her appreciate your compliments better.
Men like compliments that appeal to their egos and women, to their vanity. It is important to remember that women love compliments that make them feel good about themselves and improve their self-esteem. With this important tip, you can become a professional at complimenting women.

THE GAMES WE PLAY

Women often love to talk about men and how they are ruled by their baser urges. But men like to turn around and say that at least they are blatantly honest about it. With women, on the other hand, they say, you are always floundering in the deep end. They are such mistresses of their true feelings and emotions that a man never knows where he stands with them.


Men are often confused about how to read a woman’s psyche and have a common grouse, "I can never get it right". They wish that women would stop playing these nonsensical mind games and just tell them up front what they mean and what they should do and make it easier on the relationship and on them.

What are some of the games women play?

The game she plays : Playing Hard-to-get
This is one of the most age-old and popular games that women love to play. For a woman, half the fun is in the chase and if on the way, she discovers he wasn’t really the guy she thought he was, she has no qualms about making it a wild goose one!
What’s a guy to do?
If you know you’re being led up the garden path, keep all senses alert. Try not to chase her too much, act like a bit of a challenge yourself to entice her to take some initiative as well. Women only play hard-to-get when they know they can get away with it.

The game she plays : "I want your honest opinion"
When a woman says this to you all your senses should go on red alert. This is a time that calls for political correctness and diplomacy worthy of an electoral candidate. If she asks you, "Was I being rude to that catty woman, give me your honest opinion", watch your answer. This is more along the lines of a rhetorical question, one she doesn’t really expect an answer to, least of all an affirmative! Or even worse, if she asks, "Am I fatter than her?" and you really think she is, you’d better practice being a good liar or find a nice way of eating humble pie for the rest of your date.
What’s a guy to do?
Some men seem to have perfected the art of changing the topic of conversation or coming up with a convenient distraction when faced with such quandaries. But for the most part, you’re best off telling a barefaced lie and giving her what she wants to hear, or else face the music.

The game she plays : Silent treatment
You come home and you find yourself chilled to the bone. Or you’re having a perfectly normal date and suddenly she goes all quiet. She’s giving you the dreaded silent treatment and you haven’t a clue what’s got her to feel this way. Often men do eventually realize what the problem is, but are most often clueless initially and have the classic question, "What have I done now?" which seems to further irk and irritate the woman. She retreats further into her silence and no amount of coaxing and prodding will get her to reveal what the problem is, till you’re ready to tear your hair out in frustration.
What’s a guy to do?
As much as you may be tempted to do it, don’t just leave her alone to deal with what is upsetting her. You may think that by going after her, it makes you seem like the weak one. But remember, a woman wants to know that it matters to you – that her being upset makes a difference to you. If she isn’t willing to talk about it, give her a little time on her own, and then lighten the moment by telling her something that begs a response, or try just holding her and letting her vent some steam, which will hopefully melt some of that iciness.

The game she plays : The tease
She flirts with you and lets you think she’s under your spell, while she's actually casting her spell over you. She has you so captivated with her charms that you are totally helpless to do anything but be reeled in. And then, when you least expect it, she shows you the door. You feel like the worst kind of fool.
What’s a guy to do?
You have to have your wits about you and enjoy her for the moment, without getting your hopes up, or your wallet emptied. If you have been had by this kind of woman before, and you’re not such an astute judge of character yourself, stay close to a couple of mates who are!

The game she plays : Using sex
There are those women who use sex as their most powerful weapon to manipulate a man and get what they are after. In the initial stages of a relationship, they may allow certain liberties or get a guy hooked on to having great sex. And when he is truly a slave to his desires, they subtly wield their power over him to get him to do what they want, including the sulking sex kitten act when denied their way.
What’s a guy to do?
To deal with this kind of woman, you have to think with your head rather than your heart, or any other more basic organs of your body! Sex is something that two partners in a relationship enjoy for mutual pleasure and not a means for extortion or manipulation.

The game she plays : The victim
Most women know how to use tears to their advantage and most men are suckers for it. Especially when the relationship is new and each is still trying to impress the other, tears are a surefire way of bending a man to her will. If he decides to turn away, vowing not to succumb to emotional blackmail, it brings on a fresh onslaught of tears, with a heart-rending, "You don’t care for me any more" or "If you loved me you would do this for me".
What’s a guy to do?
Console her and empathize for the moment. And if you are in the wrong, of course, apologize. But also be firm and let her know that of course you care for her but when she cries, it is very difficult to have a normal conversation or make any headway in resolving an issue.

SCORPIO SWEETNESS

Hello people. i was born on november first....hence am a scorpio. A Scorpio is one of the most complicated signs in the Zodiac. Born between 23rd October and 21st November, these people are intelligent, passionate but also possessive and sometimes vindictive. Here is what you can look forward to if you are dating a Scorpio woman.
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The most noticeable aspect of a Scorpio is perhaps their intense natures and your girlfriend may be no different. A Scorpio woman is likely to be passionate in her emotions, loving and hating to the extreme. She would detest doing anything by half measures – she would either have all of an experience or nothing of it. She is likely to pour her entire self into the relationship and would expect no less from her partner. Which is why, a Scorpio woman makes one of the most passionate of lovers and a romantic relationship with her is one breathless experience after another. At the same time, once she changes partners, she will have nothing to do with an ex. You cannot be a former lover of a Scorpio and continue to be friends even after the relationship is over. For Scorpios, love is an all-or-nothing affair. A love life perpetually lived in the high key is not one for the faint-hearted but after experiencing its wild and hypnotic attraction, a man is unlikely to be happy with anything less.
Physical intimacy is an important part of a romantic relationship with Scorpios. For a woman who feels as strongly as she does, it is only natural that her emotions will find expression in physical passion too. Sex is likely to be wild and fun with your Scorpio girlfriend and she may even surprise you with an experimental move or two. But before that you need to gain her trust and that is not something to be taken lightly in a Scorpio.
Curiously, the tendency to give way to intense passions makes a Scorpio quite secretive too. This is in fact a survival tactic since wearing one’s on the sleeve all the time is akin to inviting disappointment and disaster. So you may find your Scorpio date quite reserved and cautious on the first couple of meetings. But don’t be taken by appearances since beneath that cool and collected exterior, she may be capable of experiencing tumultuous emotions and intense passions. More importantly however the quiet façade enables a Scorpio to judge the person before her with an amazing acuity. In fact Scorpios have an uncanny knack of looking straight into the heart of people and learning the truth about them. It is perhaps this curious ability which has lent shades of the psychic and occult to the bearers of the sign and particularly its women.  So if you are keen on making a good impression on your Scorpio girlfriend, your best bet is to be honest about yourself, since she may be able to look through deception and if there is one thing that Scorpios hate with all their hearts it is deceit and dishonesty.
Like everything else, a Scorpio tends to take his or her love life very seriously. While other women may date to have an active social life, for your Scorpio girlfriend it may be part of looking for a soul-mate, a love which is truly transcendental. And once found, she is unlikely to let it get away in a hurry. This tendency to hold on fiercely to their partners makes Scorpio lovers slightly possessive. Even though in the early stages of a relationship it may be flattering to think that someone needs you so much, later on the whole thing may begin to feel uncomfortable and even obsessive. For men who like their own emotional and physical space, the overwhelming attachment of a Scorpio woman may even lead to a feeling of claustrophobia and of being tied down.
Interestingly however, not all Scorpio women make jealous partners. For a temperament that is essentially possessive, one would expect a Scorpio girlfriend to go ballistic if you made so much as eye contact with another comely woman. However the strength of character and immense self-confidence of Scorpios makes them unlikely to be shaken by minor irritants. It is only when thought crosses over to action, then you had better watch out.
Watch out, because a Scorpio neither forgives nor forgets. Betraying a partner’s love and trust is the worst mistake you can make in a relationship with a Scorpio. This is because of the legendary instinct for revenge in a Scorpio. Not surprising since the Zodiac is symbolized by the Scorpion, a creature which bears a deadly sting in its tail. Like its symbol, a Scorpio will never forget a hurt and sooner or later will pay back in her own coin. So if you are a guy who has a Scorpio girlfriend and still meets up with his ex-flames over lunch dates, either you have a curious way of getting your emotional highs or simply like to live dangerously.
Scorpios are famous for their courage and tenacity and are thus useful people to have around in case of an emergency. They are not afraid to take up a task, no matter how impossible it may seem, and will see it through till the end. In keeping with their fixed sign, they are also extremely determined and will not opt out of a course, come what may. So if you are looking for a long term partner who will stand by you through the ups and downs of life and give you a hand in weathering all kinds of crises, a Scorpio is the woman for you.
Intense, complicated and unpredictable – a Scorpio woman revels in all these qualities. Most of all she likes being in control of her own destiny and of her relationship. She is unapologetic about her own powerful persona and in fact is attracted to the same kind of self-assurance and magnetism in others. A Scorpio woman is in search of a man who is confident and strong enough to take her for what she is and expects nothing less.

10 Signs That Tell you a Man is Serious About you

kenyan culture has often labelled the woman as the more complex partner. References are often made about how it is difficult to understand what’s on a woman’s mind. This may be true when it comes to deciding on what she wants on her birthday or if she really is alright with you going out to get drunk with male friends. But the truth of the matter is that by and large, most women are open about a relationship and its future. They’re always open to discussions and find it easier to talk about their feelings. Unfortunately, most men, however serious, are at the other end of the spectrum and not as transparent about their feelings and intentions. So how do you tell if the man is truly serious about you? Fortunately, there are certain signs that could be used to decode the man’s behaviour.

1. He doesn’t play mind games with you
If he says he will drop in to see you, he does. When he makes plans with you for the weekend, he sticks to them. He doesn’t torment you by saying one thing and doing something else. He’s not cold one instant and warm and affectionate the other. If his ex-girlfriend calls him, he tells you about it for the sake of honesty and not in a way that makes you uncomfortable. When a man plays mind games, it’s typically because he doesn’t really care, or because the relationship is casual for him. If your man makes a special effort to be honest and open, that’s a sign of his commitment to the relationship.

2. He wants to know things about you
And it’s not just the regular stuff like “What are your hopes and dreams?” or, “What inspires you to paint?” or “What’s your favourite rock band?” He asks you questions about your childhood, your job, parents, etc. He wants to know what it was like to be the elder sister or, he always asks you how you cope with your long stressful work hours. He is genuinely concerned about your career and asks you about your plans. Even the best actor cannot feign an interest in mundane details such as, “What time did you wake up today?”. or “Did you get enough sleep last night?” If he’s serious about you, he will find all the mundane details interesting.

3. He calls you multiple times everyday
He calls you sometimes for no reason. Even if you’ve met at a coffee shop an hour ago, he calls you after he reaches home, or from the elevator. This behaviour is typically displayed in the first few weeks of the relationship, when everything is new and exciting. However, when you realize that he still calls you just to hear your voice and it’s been about a year since you started going out, you should know that he’s serious about you.


4. If he’s always punctual...
If he’s always punctual, he’s definitely into you. When a man is serious about his girlfriend, he will ensure that she doesn’t have to wait for an hour at the bus stop. He says he will pick you up for dinner and 8 p.m. and calls around 7.55 p.m. to tell you he’s stuck in traffic and will be 15 minutes late, he’s respectful of your feelings. He won’t ever have you hanging around the park for half an hour before he shows up. Most girls constantly find themselves waiting for their boyfriend’s phone call, or for him to pick them up. If you don’t find yourself in that position, you’ve got yourself a winner. 
 
5. When he listens to you talk
Several girls complain that they can’t talk to their boyfriends and that they just don’t listen. When you spend time with him, he really listens to you. He’s all ears about your problems at work. On the train, he’s not distracted by fellow passengers, but is listening to you intently. You have long chats on the phone where he hangs on to every word you say. You find yourself telling him things that you’ve never told any boyfriend before. He’s not constantly checking his cell phone for messages, when you talk about the day. If your man remembers that it’s your aunt’s birthday in a couple of weeks, just because you mentioned it in passing, understand that he’s listening to every word you’re saying.
$ADSENSEDATING1$

6. When he wants to date you exclusively
You’re his steady girlfriend and he makes sure everyone knows it. He is faithful and expects fidelity from you too. He has had the conversation about being exclusive with you. He makes sure everyone knows that he’s your boyfriend, not only because he doesn’t want random men hitting on you, but because he wants to send a clear signal to all the girls that he’s taken. This is a big step and you should appreciate him for this.


7. He’s transparent about his routine
You know his routine and what his day holds for him, not because you’re a tyrant but because he volunteers this information. You know he’s in the gym in the morning and reaches work at 10 a.m., after making a quick dash to a coffee shop. You know that if he doesn’t take your call in the afternoon, he’s probably in a meeting or in the loo. If he’s missing for a couple of hours, there’s always an explanation that’s credible. You have never wondered, “What could he possibly be doing now?” or “Why hasn’t he called me?”.


8. He introduces you to his friends
He is keen that you meet his friends and not only because he wants to show off what a knockout you are, but because he’s so in love with you. He wants his friends to know you and like you. He wants you to get comfortable with them, because this paves the way for your initiation in the group. He makes an effort to be nice to your friends for the same reasons. He wants you to meet his family. This move is not to be underestimated at all. If there’s one thing common in men across continents, it’s the fact that they only take the girl home, if they’re taking the relationship to the next level.


9. He asks for your opinion and respects it
He wants you to accompany him while he shops for clothes, because he trusts your choice. When he’s confused about his career, he talks to you and listens patiently to what you have to say. He discusses things with you to seek your opinion.

10. He’s always there when you need him
He may be foul tempered and may say hurtful things from time to time, but he's always there when you need him. When your uncle passed away, he was there to hold your hand. When you lost a job, he took you out for ice cream and reassured you. He may have his faults, but if he really cares for you, he will always try to protect you. If a bitchy girlfriend keeps picking on you, he calls her bluff and shuts her up. If he genuinely worries about you because you have cramps during that time of the month, he’s definitely serious about you.

KENYANS VOTED UGLIEST IN AFRICA!!!"

Kenyans were last weekend voted the funniest looking people in Africa.
With 48 participating nations in the Annual Most Beautiful People of Africa
Awards, held at the Gregor Theatre in Bloemfontein SA, Kenya took the last
position, dislodging Zambia and reclaiming the title it held in 2000.


It posted 7pts out of a possible 540. The top position was taken by Rwanda,
followed by Cameroon and then Ethiopia as second runner up. The last three
positions were Kenya at 48, Zambia at 47, then Gabon , at 46.




The judges said they gave their points based on presentation, physical
appearance, grooming, communication and other areas. They say that Kikuyu
women and Luo men pose the most weird features, and Luhyas are the most
weirdest creatures on earth. (Ouch!!!)


 Read this:


"Women from the Kikuyu community have small legs, totally no figures, and a
little exaggerated heads. They lack good behinds and those who have them
look like inflated balloons. They are shaped like pyramids turned upside
down. A big upper frame and an almost invisible lower bit.




Luo men on the other side have distorted facial features…say big lips and
huge noses or should we call them knobs.


Kikuyu men are also un proportional, and most of them are stunted. They walk
leaning forward. Plus they have long rusty teeth."


"Those from Kisii Districts are small people; the average Kenyan man will
stop growing at 5'2"...5'4" tops.


Kisii men have mango shaped heads, and bowed legs, a feature also common in
their Luhya counterparts."


He goes on to describe Kalenjins as "Funny little pitch black emaciated
fellows, raking in millions from the track. However long they'll remain in
Europe, their features never improve".


"Nandis will have rounded foreheads and thin, long arms". While occupants at
the coast province are said to have "Wide faces, almost like a widescreen
telly, especially taitas, and durumas"


Luhyas are the most weird creatures on earth. Men have very big noses and
big lips while their partners have big funny looking hips and legs like
those of animals.


"Kenyans do not know the meaning of good grooming" The writer says. "The
women hate their dark skins and opt for mercury bleaches which mess them up.
The result: A scary (unpigmented) light face, black legs, and a black back".
As much as the Kenyan accent, of standard English is admired, "there's too
much mother tongue interference, common in Merus, Kisiis, and Kikuyus".
While Luos were pointed out to be suffering from chronic 'braggartitis'.


The research funded by the institute of Primate Research at the
Universityof St.
Kenkley, also
noted that Kenyan men are very marketable in the Kimberely area of SA and
parts of the Gauteng region. Reason, they are big, hopeless spenders. Moral
lesson, "Be careful dating a Kenyan online." Accepting the Award Ambassador
Kinya, complained of biased judging. Also present were dignitaries from all
around Africa.

OF LOVE, LUST AND NIGERIAN MEN

Kenyan women are developing a crazy fantasy for nigerian men. Today ask any single kenyan urban woman what kind of man she is looking for and i bet 'nigerian' is one of the qualities she will put forth. I just dont get it? what's goin on here??? wats with the ' i want a naija man' obsession? 

The first explanation derives from a Nigerian man’s concept of a woman. Kenyan men see women as one thing.
 But Nigerian men see the opposite: a divine being, deserving the best things in life and befitting a royal treatment. A Kenyan guy will take a chick out on a date and expect an instant withdrawal of pleasure tantamount to the cash he’s spent, but a Nigerian man’s aim is for the lady to thoroughly enjoy the night with no expectation but that she feels special. Where a Kenyan boy is busy calculating the cost vs pudding ratio, the Naija broda is calculating the cost = happiness ratio and spoiling this young lady well well. The Kenyan guy will focus on her body, the Naija man will only hope to see the smile on his companions face. The guy will take her to the best restaurant, order the best meal, best champagne, focus on her conversations (most Kenyan men think a date is an interview with Oprah & spend the whole night talking about themselves) and expect nothing but the joy of knowing she is happy. After a great evening, he will drop her home (sober) and beg to see her again.
On the contrast, the Kenyan man has done his best to get his date high and uses the old ‘let me make sure I tuck you into bed’ excuse to get into her pants (that is a very stupid expression…how can a man want to get into your pants? It’s you he wants to get into, not your underwear). The Naija guy will give her a soft hug then walk away heading back to his car & it’s at this point that the chick goes all weak, breaks her defences and asks ‘Aren’t you coming in’ and gives the broda all that she’s got. The Kenyan guy, on the other hand, wakes up next to a hangovered chick who curses herself for allowing him to sneak into her banye and throws him out, never to return. Poor bastard! The Naija bloke gets a 6 month visa + first class tickets to kandahar but the Kenyan gets deported after the first day.


Different Game Play

Men are hunters; it’s just the game that differs. Kenyan men hunt for easy game, devour and get back to the hunt. It’s tantamount to buying a fake Chinese t-shirt…you know that after 3 washes it shall fade, but as its cheaper than an authentic one you still go ahead & purchase it. After 3 washes it fades and you go back to buy the self-same useless t-shirt that will fade after 3 washes. A Nigerian man get sense now, he will buy the authentic t-shirt that will handle 50 washes, making it economical vis-à-vis the Chinese replica.
Good women, quality women don’t come cheap (I don’t mean purchasing price but maintenance cost) and Naija men understand this and they are prepared to do whatever it takes to meet the pecuniary prerequisites of the merchandise. I hear Kenyan women whining ‘How can she call us merchandise, she makes us sound materialistic’…shut up, you know you are! Your hair, your clothes, your shoes, your nails, your car, your gym membership, your spa treatment, your diet pills, your rent, your fuel, your jewellery ALL make you a financial liability…so shut it! Now where were we, yes, a Kenyan man would run away from such a lady, labelling her as high maintenance but a Nigerian man will perceive her as a diamond requiring certain ‘necessities’ to stay shinning and he will provide them because he knows if his diamond shines, he shines. And if he polishes her essence she too shall in turn polish him.
Kenyan men are known as players because they have one chick here, another there and the other in the waiting to be here or there. They do their best to juggle all three (or more) at the same time but get busted and end up on the kandahar restricted entry list. Your face is emailed to all kandahars in the country, with the warning ‘Do not allow passage’ under your picture, destroying any chance of getting further action thanks to the UBS (United Banye Sisterhood). A Nigerian, on the other hand, will focus on one ‘mission’ at a time. He go chop am well well, then move to the next target, avoiding the wrath of the UBS and leaving a trail of satisfaction, respect and a ‘return anytime’ invitation. You see, just because you don’t intend to settle with the lady it doesn’t mean you disrespect her. Give her the attention she deserves, the respect she deserves, the affection she deserves and when the fun expires give her the send-off she deserves. Chopping another when you are with her is just not the Nigerian way.

Impressions Matter

Many people perceive Naija  in kenya as business executives (they drive luxury cars & wear very expensive designer clothes) but they are not. Often women come up and ask me what profession those nijos are and being the ‘ask all & tell none’ gal that I am I simply ricochet the question and ask them ‘Which profession do you think they are in?’ This is where it gets funny, I get all types of up market job titles from bankers, to musicians, to lawyers…but if only they knew. So I smile and go ‘Yes, you are right’ and they play along.
Is that wrong? No! They never said they were bankers, lawyers or musicians they created the impression based on their self-perception (you don’t have to be a banker to be proud of your being, you can be a hawker but carry yourself with the pride of a banker). They never consciously duped anyone into thinking they are not who they are BUT this is a mistake a lot of Kenyan men do, they verbally lie about who they really are. I was once at Hilton in Nairobi and sat at the bar as I waited for my dad. A few tables away were a couple chatting away & having a great time. The man was having a beer and the lady had a glass of red wine in her hand and they were having a great time. The man was busy promulgating his business deals to this lady and she was mightily impressed. He went on and on about how much money he makes, the cars he owns and his big house…I too was impressed. Then some guy (a prominent but very modest Kenyan business man) walks in and then he calls his driver- the guy with the big money, the cars and the massive house- to take him to another venue…abeg you should have seen the lady’s face o, kai!
Creating a false perception of who you are will always land you into trouble for the day the truth is out, the UBS (United Banye Sisterhood) will send out a memo and you are back to wankin my son. Nigerian men don’t lie, verbally, about their disposition but leave it to the perception of the observer to place them into a stereotype that they wish, and they in turn accommodate the selected slot. I mean, who wouldn’t…if you’re thinking a guy is a lawyer will get him laid then hey, your honour I rest my case. If his dressing leads you to think he is a banker and is going to get laid because of it then hey, let him handle your assets baby. So long as he never said he is a lawyer or a banker he is blameless; you assumed he was and gave him some under this assumption. u can learn a great deal from Naija  I tell you.


Understand Her Needs

I was told that in Abuja, if a guy wants to sleep with a chick he buys her a car or a house. Ati what!! Kwaniama these Abuja women have what types of sistas? A car? A house? Na wah o! After several exclamations of ‘what the ’ I sobered down to as why. Ati, the reason is…hehehehehehe…get this, she has needs. Oga God, abeg what’s up with you o, si you could have made me an Abuja woman o- I’d be driving the latest Jaguar and I’d be living in a 15 room mansion, a yatch and a helicopter…I swear I’d be a whore. I would set up a 3 year  plan to get a house, a swimming pool, a car, a helicopter, a yatch, a private jet, YOTE! I’d have business cards written ‘tanya baby’…anytime…any style…any day! there is no soap for one to ‘assist’ themselves
Now imagine a Kenyan man in Abuja trying to get a gal, what does the poor bastard have to offer vis-à-vis a car/house? ‘Oh my dear, you have nice eyes’…abeg she go slap you o. Or ‘Si we go to Java then for a movie after’…wuuuuiiiiiiiiii. Kenyan men don’t understand the needs of a woman. When a Nigerian man sees a woman, he seeks what value he can add to her life; how he go better her as they say. If she is walking, he will tell her ‘I go buy you car’. If she is staying with her parents he will tell her ‘I go buy you house’. He wants to add value to her life. A Kenyan man, wuuuiiiiiiiiiii, just sees how he go better his libido at the cheapest rate. He finds a way of how he go better his ego by showing off that he’s slept with you to his mates. The man na be selfish o. A Naija man will get some because he is adding value to the individual, unlike the Kenyan man who tries to grab a slice from a department without paying homage to the individual.

WHEN TO LET HIM IN

This is one question that women constantly me: whether there’s a moment or period when you have some trust or guarantee that the man graced with the pleasure to explore your legs among other parts of your anatomy will still be interested after you have sex with him. The question "Will he still respect me after sex / in the morning?" is one I've heard time and time again.
Well ladies the truth of the matter is there is no amount of time that will give you 100% certainty that he will stick around to do more than just stick his willy up your p----! Plus the word ‘respect’ is not associated in anyway with the act of sex. Personally I have never heard a guy during sex and utter these words: “Baby, this position is so respectable ;do you see how much respect I have for you?". I mean the notion is just ridiculous. Let me give an example that may have befallen a few of you in this day and age.
Men are tactful creatures (not all but most) and can be very charming and sweet to gain what lies between those legs of yours. Oh yes, last but not at all least, men can be very very patient like a grizzly bear stalking trout in a fast moving river.
Here is a guy who goes out to a social place in the hope that he may meet some hot random girl (hot is relative). As he surveys the available delicacies that the environment has to offer he mingles with a few. And as is expected by men, he gets rejected by a few women until he finally finds his ultimate prey. He then strategizes, as they chat, on his next set of clever, charming, funny lines to tantalise her interest and maybe create some mystery about him. She falls for the bait, and in his mind he is sure something will come out of this time spent exhausting his brain cells and we all know he’s not thinking of a hot cooked meal! If anything is baking at his or her place it better be between her legs. I’m sure the men reading this concur.
What puzzles us me in regards to courtship especially in social places like clubs and bars, a man meets a woman and when the man hints that he has sexual intent the woman becomes defensive and judgemental towards the guy. Well, excuuuuse me ladies! Let me shed some light: you are a woman and you have been engaging in conversation with a guy you just met and have done so for probably a few hours during that night, teasing and flirting each other for all that time. So did you think the guy was a good Samaritan of chit chat or did you think he approached you to find out if you were a possible long term girlfriend or wife material (whatever that means), or that he has nothing better to do than spend a good part of the night talking to you because his lips needs exercising? Please! Give me a break!

Men are and always will be visual sexual beings, any other attributes a man may have will manifest much later if there is a continuation of your relationship whether in form of a fling, friends with benefits or call it what you may. But there are no definite positive outcomes in the world of boy-meets-girl. How you both play it out from the beginning will dictate how long you will be together. If one of you is playing a role to please the other  while the other has hidden agendas, then it is most likely your fate is sealed and one of you will get hurt eventually.
Ladies if you are out there in the social scene and you fancy a guy ,what you decide to do with him sexually is solely your personal journey to the unknown hence why they call it adventure. If you sleep with a guy regardless of what he may have said, done, promised, professed, bought, overwhelmingly impressed you with, you must know that none of the above should determine whether you spread your legs or not it should be a decision without any expectations what so ever. Hopefully you are just horny and you want to get laid.

When you walk into a cookie shop and bite into a new flavoured cookie expecting a mouth watering experience well picture that as the new guy between your legs, something tells me that if he doesn’t rock your world, depending on your bedroom appetite, you will most likely not see him again.

And for those of you who were pampered with the high life then dumped well regardless of how much money was thrown your way ‘it was just a means to an end’. Some men have deep pockets and cash like multiple tequila shots is a very effective panty remover and I’m sure both genders can attest to that fact.
So as you enjoy yourselves I’m sure there are many social events, out of town ventures, house parties some kinkier than others, my word of advise is have fun and be safe doing it. If you happen to spread your legs which I’m sure many of you will, hopefully you receive some satisfaction out of it, but let it not be out of some smooth lines or material incentives.
In regards to men, if you take anything from this article, remember that upfront men are far more a better than those who play the ‘Mr Nice Guy’. Yes, 'Mr Upfront’ may tell you on the same day that he wants to bed you and that may not appeal but the fundamental thing is that he has the balls to just lay the cards on the table and a reasonable upfront guy will know when to quit if you don’t fancy him at all. Now I know for many women ‘Mr Nice Guy’ is sweet and at times romantic but trust me the sweet many a times turns sour over a period of time when his true colours are slowly unveiled.
Ladies I bid you all the best in your encounters with men but do read this article over and over and apply it to situations that may have occurred in your life, does it make sense, does it ring bells relating to your past predicaments, Only you can answer that.
Be safe all times and have a great time wherever you will be.

HE'S A STUD SHE' A SLUT

Those who can tell the truth are very sure of themselves and don't let society dictate how they live their lives. The question of morality may arise, but let's face it: how many of us both male and female are morally correct or act in the best conduct ALL THE TIME?

Women: you want men to stay faithful and yet you constantly nag, bitch and over centuries you have perfected name calling at the top of your voice...not an attractive trait and especially not doing much for any man’s libido. And you wonder why men choose to cheat, to sample green pastures? Yes those pastures are not always greener. However that’s irrelevant as long as I got some!

Here’s the other side of the coin.


Men: many of you expect your girlfriend / wife to dress conservative and yet you leave her at home and go looking for the woman who reminds you of how your woman used to dress (it would be wise to remember that it was you who changed her). It takes time but women do eventually cheat and guess what they are 1,000 times if not more better players than men. Face it guys we need a bitch in 'between the sheets' but when you change your woman and forget to compliment her like you used to then you can only blame yourself if one day you find her in the arms of another man looking hotter than the mistress in your arms. You get me? One man's 'alleged' used goods is another man's gold. Like it’s said, don't hate the player; hate the game that you started in the first place.

Where does morality derive from?



Our society expects us to act in a certain manner and that translates to people lying more often than not. As a therapist I hate to admit it but stereotyping in Kenya is the order of the day.


For example those men who say women who have been around the might as well be commercial women. Well, funny if those same women offered themselves to the same men for some between the sheets action, the men would most likely not decline. Double standards don't you think?

If you're a real man you should not worry about how many men a woman has encountered in her life. What should be your primary goal is how you can make her forget those men and you set your own bench mark. I am not pro or anti any gender but sometimes men just have no logic to their verbal contribution (insults) regarding women and many are just cowards hence the ‘motor mouth’ attitude to stay relevant in social circles or in society in general.

In closing, I would suggest that in life don’t partake in scenarios that you can not handle and don’t judge others before looking into the mirror and assessing yourself first. If your existence is perfect in every aspect then only then can you judge or criticize other peoples’ lifestyles.

KENYAN MEN FOR DUMMIES

Let me introduce you to the kenyan man. He is witty, charming and very confident, he has a sense of arrogance that women like, and he has the mentality of “I have nothing to lose and everything to gain”. He is the guy in any social arena that can either be very visible or he blends in but in a very calculative way. He takes no chances when he interacts with women; he has learnt how to read a woman’s body language. He will meet a woman and start to chat her up as he assess her interests by observing her face; yes he can tell within minutes if a woman is interested in him, it’s all in the eye contact and positive facial expression. Once he is certain that there’s a seed of interest depending on his agenda, for the night, he will determine through their conversation whether the woman is looking for ‘a good time’ or she just finds him ‘manly’ and more interesting in comparison with the other men at that particular venue. If she is worth his time, he will stick around and charm her some more, lay a foundation he can build on.
What I’m saying is, if she is worth the ‘marinating period’ (when a man doesn’t rush a woman into having a one night stand, he exchanges numbers with her to enjoy the spoils at a later date). Many kenyan men use this strategy, it’s like hunting plenty of stock for the winter or dry spells. This is how it works ‘talk to plenty of women you desire’ exchange numbers, keep flirting for a period of time (weeks, months) and the more women you connect with the better the odds of getting laid over the months to come, they are simply marinating like meat to be cooked later. Hence why some men ask their male friends “how do you keep getting laid so often”, well that’s how. Talking of friends, in almost every click of ‘boys’ there’s undoubtedly a guy who alwaays gets praise from his buddies, he scores highly with the ladies. Now you know how.
I have mentioned ‘eye contact’ has one of the key indicators for an Alpha male. A good example would be the reason why when you want to evaluate ‘the truth’ you will most of the time ask the person to ‘look you in the eyes’. The kenyan man uses that technique to filter potential attraction. When he goes to a club he will not sit anywhere, if you observe closely over a period of club nights you will notice that within a click of friends the he will always want to be in-front of the pack so that he can select a suitable position to achieve the best visual of all the women at the venue. Sometimes he is known to sit facing the ‘ladies room’ to visually screen them as they pass by. He is a true predator.

He will sit at his most suitable place and attempt ‘eye contact’ with several women of his taste. When a woman makes eye contact with him, and then she looks away more than two or three times, that to an him is a sign to engage. When he approaches her to spark dialogue if the woman maintains eye contact, she is definitely interested, he will know this better than most men. If she happens to break eye contact, that may signal that she may have just been admiring and nothing more but he will still reach her side and give her his business card after a brief chat, he will make sure that he makes it clear that he wants her. With the card in her hand she is now either going to dispose of it or keep it. Most of the time women will keep the card out of curiosity. And you know curiosity eventually kills the cat, if you get my drift! That’s the perfect marinating strategy.


The kenyan man also has other signals that he looks out for, such as a woman playing with her hair or playing with her neck in an almost ‘sexy motion’, this is to draw his attention.  It’s an unconscious action that women perform when they see or feel something that provokes a moment of thrill, excitement or desire. Another massive give away is in the movement of a woman’s arms or hands, he will keenly observe her motions and decide when to strike. he understands nonverbal signals and translates them with a very high success rate. While engaging in conversation an he will quickly asks questions ‘about her, her interests’ that will give him an edge over other males, he will want to take charge at the same time be very attentive watching her every move and listening to her every word. He knows how to compliment her without sounding ‘fake’. Over time he will have mastered to notice newly done hair, nails, and a unique item on her body like a dress, bracelet, chain, and tattoo. All these things he looks for make it easier to talk about things that relate to her, hence why many men fail in the initial engagement level. The woman notices that the man is trying to break the ice repeatedly as he seeks to find common ground, trying too hard to impress, when topics of discussion are staring at him right in the face. other men take a while to notice and to finally get a woman’s interest.

In a nutshell, why do we like kenyan men? Well he is confident, has a very manly assertive nature and he knows how to judge the degree of assertiveness depending on the woman; he easily adapts to any woman’s interest. I’m sure women are asking if an kenyan men can be a suitable ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’. The answer is yes the kenyan can be the most loyal dedicated man. If he decides to give; he gives his all, the only downside to a kenyan man, if I can call it that', is that he wants the same affection accorded to him. A woman who gives less will soon find herself confronted with his disappointments. The kenyan mane will always voice his concerns; he likes to maintain a good thing so he will fight for it till he can do no more. And yes indeed he can be the player of players but when he meets the one woman who keeps him motivated and feeds his world with positive energy, constantly soothing his ego, he will stay loyal giving the woman overwhelming attention.

THE UNROMANTIC KENYAN MEN

Well let me introduce you to true 'romance'. There's a reason why people say "it's the small things that matter" or "it's the thought that counts". Before we test the kenyan men of today what do the men of other countries do that qualifies as romantic compared to today?

Let's list some actions that were perceived as romantic; they surprised their women with candle-lit dinners, they bought flowers, they took walks to the beach (assuming you were near one), they held hands and told fairy-tale stories as they took an evening walk, they to ice cream parlours and fed each other ice cream (well some did), they went to drive-in cinemas and ate salt-less stale popcorn (some of you are wondering what are those, that means you were probably suckling at that time), they would walk the woman to her father's gate or door and last but not least they wrote 7 to 10 page letter by hand to express their affections. Some of you copied lyrics from several artists and merged the words hoping the she wouldn't recognise the lyrics.
Now after evaluating that list you would probably say that men back in the day were genuinely romantic; they had game as some would put it. Well to some extent that may be the case. However the fundamental factor was that whether it was out of love or not, the women of yesterday actually appreciated those gestures. You could see it in her eyes and if you were lucky you might get a peck on the cheek or to top it all off you would be the talk of your hood because you received a kiss. They would even define the kiss by how long it lasted (trust me it was a big deal back then). Personally I would like to say I'm somewhat a romantic at heart but the harsh unpredictable social environment has a lot going against men.

Women will complain that men are un-romantic and yet very few of you actual know what romance is. Some women think that an overly romantic guy is one who adapts some feminine traits, you know what I mean? Let's say a guy could only afford to cook you spinach and ugali for your romantic dinner, isn't it the thought that counts? Then again if you feel men are NOT that, why not cook yourself a prawn or lobster dish with sensual aroma and call it a candle lit dinner for ONE and let's see how orgasmic that night goes! It's not an excuse but times are hard, some of the luxuries that were affordable back then are not easily sustainable today. Hence why I always say don't introduce to each other life styles that you just can't keep up with.
Oh and that other thing, 'flowers'. Do women know that for most men flowers have little or no sentimental value at all? Over years of offering flowers we have cheated ourselves that we understand and cherish each petal. Some men may beg to differ but that's because you have brain washed yourself over many years or society dictates that only loving men offer flowers as a sign of love. Personally I think flowers are not the best symbol for love: for one they tend to die in a few days whether in water or not. What does that say about the relationship eventuality!!!! I'm just saying! Yes there's no science that links dead flowers with relationship outcomes but for me there's a link. I prefer to offer a cactus, it doesn't need to be watered frequently plus its erect posture depicts … if you get my drift... Every time I'm away from her she only needs to look at the cactus to positively remember me!
Then there's the 'taking a romantic walk'. Now in this day and age this romantic gesture may get you mugged or kidnapped, may be even killed depending on where you live. I would hate to be mid my ultimate lyrics then I feel a gun in my face, not a very romantic ending. I must admit though that men no longer hand write letters I guess technology has slowly phased that sentimental gesture. Now we have text messaging which is not romantic just straight to the point. Back then it was allowed to beat around the bush while courting with romantic words and actions, but today’s women themselves will tell a dude "get with the program tell me what you want so I can decide whether I want the same or not"
Is romance dying? We can debate that for years but it's not looking too good from where I stand. Do couples have meaningful pillow talk nowadays; do you? When was the last time you did something romantic or experienced a bit of romance? I am eager to hear your views because what may be perceived as romantic today may be tying a bow around a bottle of black ice, who knows?
In my opinion true romance can only be experienced over a period where a couple in love know each other inside out, remembering and cherishing moments or occasions shared together and over the years reliving those moments. Your first intimate kiss that made you say yes he or she is the one for me, your most memorable night out it could be a simple dinner or a night out clubbing and you both danced the night away. The moments and memories can be of anything, but it’s their significance that makes all the difference hence why you revisit them over and over in form of anniversaries. A time for you to share in love and spend quality time. The romantic dinner setting is great but if it is only occurring as a means to an end then it doesn't qualify to be in the 'hall of romance'. I wish that everyone reading this article can have those moments of pure happiness and have the pleasure of sharing with someone.

UGANDAN LADIES...PLIZ!

I find it imperative to assist my Kenyan sistas in attaining a happy new prosperous  attitude, an attitude that will eliminate pernicious phrases such as ‘All Kenyan men are useless’, ‘Kenyan men are a waste of time’ and ‘Kenyan men are dogs’; words that are never uttered by Ugandan ladies about their men. I don’t guarantee instant success, I don’t promise overnight glory but the cognitive riches I’m about to share shall reduce your whining of the opposite sex and elevate you several tiers above your peers.


1. submision
Submission is the first and most critical lesson Kenyan women ought to learn from their landlocked neighbour. Ugandan women are taught that the man is the head and he deserves respect. Ugandan women are empowered, but unlike those who dwell in Kenya, they don’t shove their ‘anything you can do I can do better’ ability in their men’s faces. They instead humble themselves to the laws of nature, society and religion. If Kenyan women learn to say ‘Yes Ssebo’ to their men’s requests, desires and instructions life shall be good. It doesn’t make you a lesser being, just a lesser pain.

2.Appearance

Appearances matter immensely to Ugandan ladies, something that Kenyan women are slowly beginning to embrace. From hair to nails to clothes to shoes Ugandans have perfected the art of capturing the essence of femininity in appearance. A majority of Kenyan women tend to focus more on perfecting fake accents, than their appearance. Yes, you may sound like Paris Hilton, sawa, but if you dress like the mboch it’s not going to happen!

3.sex....love...huh?

Someone made the postulation that Kenyan women give sex for love and Kenyan men give love for sex. However erroneous this quid-pro-quo action is, it’s not pertinent with Ugandan ladies. Sex is not love. One is an emotion the other an action. Yes they are intertwined but separable. Imagine seeing a pair of shoes and realizing you want to get your feet in them shoes over & over again. You buy the shoes and are highly comfortable in them. Then as you innocently walk along the street, you see another pair that you just can’t stop looking at, wondering what it would be like to be in them, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You resist, knowing that you are committed to your wonderful pair but the ‘what would it be like to be in them’ and the ‘just try them on, you don’t have to buy them’ thoughts keep haunting your mind. Then after much cognitive struggle you give in and try them on. You slip into them; wearing socks of course because you have no intention of buying them so must protect them and your feet too, walk around the shop & look in the mirror, then you take them off, leave them at the shop and walk away in your favourite pair of shoes. It’s therefore clear to understand that just because a man sleeps with you it doesn’t mean he loves you, and just because a man sleeps with another woman, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. This is an understanding Ugandan women have and they don’t stress their men for they know he will always come back to them.

 4 you get what you deserve

I have often heard Kenyan women whine that ‘Kenyan men are not gentlemen’ and that they’ve ‘kissed many frogs but none have turned into a Prince’…the answer is simple, do you behave like a lady in the first place to be treated like one or are you a princess deserving of a prince? I believe that one subconsciously relays impulses of how others should treat them. It’s highly involuntary and explains how one lady is treated differently from another by the same person. If you expect to be treated like a lady then you must act like a lady; shouting in a bar and drinking yourself to the ground shan’t aid your plight, nor will having a fake accent and not using deodorant. If you want to be treated like a queen then you must make your man feel like a king; psychological reciprocation is a puissant tool that many overlook, use it my sistas. Kenyan women want it all BUT aren’t prepared to get their hands or knees dirty for it (for the pervs who horned in on the ‘knees’ bit I meant kneeling in respect,  not fellatio…although that too could elicit the royal treatment). Ugandan women will kneel for their men and their men in return crown them as their queens.

5 BEDROOM BOREDOM
Kenyan women are the most learned in East Africa, the most independent in East Africa, the most liberated in East Africa but the most naïve on carnal knowledge in East Africa (ask any Kenyan man who has been to Uganda and has sampled the local ‘delicacy’). Sadly the Kenyan society has never allowed its women to be free about their sexuality and this has worked against them. Fortunately it’s never too late to learn new ways to thrust your pelvis, grind the garlic, choke the bishop (I love chess) or making the beast with two backs. Information is widely available on the internet, video library, books, younger siblings…oh yes; they know more about sex than we do. East Africans have evolved; sex is no longer the taboo it once was when we were growing up, homosexuality is now openly discussed, contraceptives are displayed in the open and even sold at supermarkets so there is no excuse. Ugandan women are taught the art of satisfying a man at an early age and their men don’t stray, they always come back home.

So before you call your man useless, a dog or a good for nothing useless dog, ask yourself this ‘Have I given my dog an irresistible bone that will ensure he comes home?’

What not to do after getting dumped

Erase Your Ex

• Posted on Jan 28, 2011 7:44 AM by njixx
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My Rating

Getting dumped can send even the sanest among us into a tailspin, but giving in to tearful rants and behaviour that will get you into trouble just because you’re hurting isn’t always the best idea. Here are our picks for the biggest post-breakup no-no’s.

Stalking him

We know it’s tempting to see what he’s been up to since breaking your heart, but constantly checking his Facebook page to see where he’s been, who he’s been with and what he’s doing will just drive you crazy. Do yourself a favor and delete him as a friend so you limit your avenues for social media stalking.

Holding onto his stuff

If the breakup wounds are still raw and all you can think about is him, go through your apartment and get rid of anything that belonged to him or reminds you of him, including gifts he bought for you. If you can’t go through with tossing or donating items, give them to a friend to hang onto until you’re better equipped emotionally to see them every day.

Texting or calling him

If he broke up with you, he probable doesn’t want to continue getting your calls and texts. We know how frustrating it can be when a relationship ends badly or you still have unanswered questions, but obsessively trying to get in touch with him will only make things worse.  He’ll get annoyed and you’ll come off as completely desperate – definitely not an ideal post-breakup situation.

Contacting his friends

If they were mutual friends, staying in touch is fair game. But if you’re bothering his best buds for the goods on what he’s up to and whether or not he’s seeing anyone new, it’s time to back away and leave them out of the picture. The less you know the better when it comes to trying to get over an ex.

Holding out hope

Everything happens for a reason, so do your best to start healing rather than wasting time and energy holding out hope for reconciliation. If things were left ambiguous, or you’re just “on a break” there might be a chance you’ll get back together. But if the breakup felt final (as in he no longer loves you), hoping he’ll change is mind won't do you any favors. As hard as it is to let go, it’s the only way you’ll be able to move forward.

How to bounce back after a breakup

Feel Better
After A Split

• Posted on Mar 31, 2011 12:13 PM by shee

My Rating

Though a breakup can make you feel like your life is over, try not to let it stop you in your tracks. Here are some strategies you can implement to bounce back after a breakup.

Don't be a hermit.

We know: All you want to do is mope around the house in your pajamas. Don't let yourself be a hermit after a breakup, though. Get out there and reconnect with your friends. Your relationship may have taken away time from your girlfriends, so reach out and make plans to see your BFFs more regularly. You'll have a good time and heal much faster being around people who care about you.

Change things up.

Get your morning coffee from a cafe you've never visited. Listen to new music. Take a new class at the gym. Stretch your culinary skills by trying new recipes. By deliberately doing things differently than you did when your ex was around, you'll prove to yourself that life goes on -- and that there are always new things to discover no matter how sad you feel.

Get creative.

Minimize any pent-up frustration with creativity. Start that novel you've always wanted to write, rediscover your love of photography or take a pottery class -- anything that will get you out of your current negative mindset and out of your own head. Being creative is a great way to let go of sadness and tap into talents you might not realize you have.

Update your look.

Improve your outlook and your self esteem by getting a makeover, a new haircut and some new clothes.  You'll feel better knowing that you're making an effort to better yourself. Plus, you'll have a whole new look that represents positive change rather than the negative status quo.

Branch out.

If you can't remember the last time you left your neighborhood for anything other than a doctor's appointment or work function, it's time to do some exploring. Grab some friends and make plans to have dinner or drinks across town or head to some galleries or a museum you've never had time to check out. Getting away from all the places you used to frequent with your ex will help you get over him, and you'll find some great bars, cafes and restaurants you can call your own.

Signs your relationship won't last much longer

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Signs Of Love
Gone Wrong

• Posted on Apr 06, 2011 2:09 PM by njixx

My Rating

If you’ve been dating someone for a few months and aren’t sure how strong your bond really is, here are a few signs that your relationship probably isn't going to last much longer.

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1.You're bored already-

All relationships end up in ruts at some point, but if you're already feeling less-than-impressed with where things are going, your love might be waning. The beginning of a relationship should feel fresh, new and exciting. If you're bored, you might want to make a beeline for the exit because sticking around isn't worth it if you're not having fun.

2. You always sweat the small stuff.

If you alway cringe when he says certain things, laughs a certain way or texts you little jokes you think are stupid, you're just not into him anymore. Getting upset over minor mistakes or inconsequential items will just drive you crazy. Break free.

3. You crave alone time -- a lot.

At the beginning of most relationships, you'd rather spend time with your new guy than by yourself. If you'd rather he not come by after work or take you out on the weekend, something is definitely wrong. Re-evaluate the relationship if you'd rather be alone than with your boyfriend.

4. You just can't be bothered.

Relationships require a certain amount of effort to thrive. If you're just not motivated to try, it's only a matter of time before you two call it quits.

5. You don't trust him.

A relationship requires trust. If you no longer trust your partner, you aren't going to be happy. Whether he lied to you, was unfaithful or just can't seem to keep his stories straight, trust can be very hard to regain once lost, and moving on may be the only answer.

6.You fight more than talk.

All couples argue -- some more regularly than others -- but if you can't remember the last time you communicated in a way that didn't involve yelling, it might be time to call it quits. "Good" arguments help resolve a relationship issue, benefiting your relationship in the end. If the two of you are just fighting for the sake of it, however -- just to belittle or demean each other's ideas -- the relationship isn't going to work.

7.You can't be happy for him.

One of the great things about being in a loving relationship is feeling happy for your significant other.  Love is most likely the furthest thing from your mind if you are ambivalent about his new promotion or attainment of a long-awaited goal. You're ready to pack your bags altogether if you're secretly hoping he fails or loses.

8.You're unhappy when you're together.

We don't recommend ending a relationship at the first sign of boredom or dissatisfaction. If you can't recall the last time you smiled or felt happy in the presence of your partner, however, moving on may be the best course of action. You probably spend most of your time with him, so if you aren't happy when he's around, you probably aren't happy very often.

4 Reasons you can't let go of your ex

Why You Still
Think About Him

• Posted on Jun 07, 2011 10:10 AM bynjixx
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It’s been months, and you still think about him. You might still love him, but there may be other reasons your ex occupies more of your time than you’d like. The relationship experts at SheKnows have come up with four other reasons you’re having a hard time letting go of the past.
 

You still want answers.

Some breakups seem to come out of nowhere, and these are often the most difficult. And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, you’re left with no explanation as to why the relationship ended. The more in the dark you are about what went wrong, the more you’re going to obsess about it -- and your need for closure holds you back. If he hasn’t called so far, he probably isn’t going to, so do yourself a favor and move on.

You’re still angry.

If you’re still angry about how the relationship ended or some of the total-jerk moves he pulled, you’re likely having a hard time letting go. Moving past the anger and resentment you feel toward your ex can be difficult, but not doing so is allowing him to have a kind of post-breakup power over you. He doesn’t deserve the amount of time and energy you’re spending thinking about him (even if it is to send him negative thoughts). If anger is holding you back, it’s time to let it go.

Your ego is bruised.

No one likes to feel she's not good enough or that she couldn’t be what someone else wanted her to be. Even if was for reasons that made sense (maybe you two just weren’t compatible or had goals that pulled you apart), hearing someone tell you he wants the relationship to end can be very deflating. If you feel like you had the upper hand in the relationship and then had the rug pulled out from under you, your ego has suffered. Don’t think of the relationship ending as a personal failure, though. Not every relationship will work out, and that doesn’t make you a lesser 
person.

You are not used to losing.

If you’re used to getting what you want and being the one in control, then getting dumped will feel particularly painful. You're likely to obsess over what went wrong and how this guy managed to break up with you before you could do the deed first. Just because you’re never the one on the wrong end of a breakup doesn’t mean you should panic. Let go, move on and stop letting your need to be on top throw you off.