OUR DEAR KENYAN MEN

Kikuyu Men

The Kikuyu man walks eats and dream more plots, matatus and company shares. The ambitious and hard-working nature of these men dates back to the Wangu wa Makeri era. You are on your own after they give you a 'mugunda' a plot.

And most people must have heard the joke about the Kamau's coming for your hard-earned money in the middle of the night. All the vices such as muggings, carjackings etc are believed to be their preserve.

It does not matter how far the economic ladder a Kikuyu man is, he will always some "deals" in the name of business. Often these deals will be hatched and sealed in a smoke-filled bar. But if you think he will have extra money to take you to some posh place, forget it. They are said to be so stingy that they believe leisure and expensive food is for fools.

A typical Kikuyu man's luxury car is a pick-up, and he believes you relax in the countryside weeding your shamba, not frolicking on the beach in Mombasa. Because of this, women think they are unromantic and dull. Their perfect date is taking a woman to dance to Mugithi while you eat nyama choma and mutura.

They also love moving in cliques and speaking their mother tongue everywhere even if you, a non-Kikuyu does not understand their language.

Women say Kikuyu men assume that all light-skinned women are from their tribe. So they will talk to you in their mother tongue. If you express displeasure, they will sneer and tell you "wacha kujiringa!"

Then they are known to have parallel families. Word has it that a Kikuyu man will not marry a second wife, but will have mistress or two tucked away somewhere. It is only when he dies, that the other family surfaces. The joke is that, your kids and those of the mistress will have been born at the same time. If you have four children, she will also have her four. If you are thinking of ignoring the mother-in-law, then steer clear of this man. Kikuyu men are mama's boys. So the way to his heart, is through his mother.

They are also said to be poor dressers and lack refined mannerisms. A must-have in every Kikuyu man's wardrobe includes Savco and Freezer jeans preferably brown, Chicago Bulls T-shirts, North star sneakers and an oversized leather jacket.

Kamba Men

Like their women, Kamba men are said to be athletes of sorts. Kamba men are born and bred to follow instructions. Starting from their mothers to their employers. For this reason, they make perfect domestic workers and messengers.

They are dismissed as being clueless about their future, their only ambition being to work in the army or at least get related to someone in the army through marriage. Kamba men have small features, which people say is because of the persistent droughts in their motherland. But if you were thinking that this would give you express liberty to be unfaithful, then forget it, they make jealous spouses and can be extremely possessive.

Coastal Men

Coastal men are said to be smooth talkers but lazy to the bone. For any hard labor, look for a 'mtu wa bara.' With their mastery of the Kiswahili language, they can even talk Osama from his hideout.

They are the classic example of what a gentleman is supposed to be. With their use of flattery, and their love for speaking in low, husky tones, many women confess to being transfixed to the Swahili man. But in the words of one lady, "they talk too much; like they have swallowed a tape."

The Taita are most humble. They fancy cooking mouth-watering dishes for their women. However, their Swahili counterparts are said to love living off the sweat of their women. And they are betrothed from birth.

Luo Men

Luo men are said to be romantic lovers and big spenders when they have the money. Whether it's shopping in Dubai, being taken to posh restaurants or flying you off to some exciting location, the man to give you a good time is a Luo man.

Women are unanimous that these men from the lake will treat a lady like a queen, but only as long as a lighter complexioned woman does not emerge on the scene because then you will immediately be past tense

No wonder all Luo songs sing of 'kalando' (the brown one.) Bar room chat is rife on the suave flamboyance and extravagance of a Luo man. For this man, tomorrow is a long way off. Life must be lived to the fullest today.

Spending all his money on a cool Mercedes and parking it outside a grass-thatched hut in the village means nothing to this man. The important thing is to be seen driving the car. When it comes to courtship a Luo man will not stammer in shyness when he approaches the woman he wants to be acquainted with and will not bat an eyelid when promising a non-existent heaven. He will insist on speaking to you in English because he cannot converse in Kiswahili.

They dress in flashy, expensive suits, shoes and ties. They will talk about their attractive young wife, the last trip overseas, the expensive car, furniture, electronics and mobile phones that they own. Listen to Poxi Presha's 'Otonglo time' and the famous "Do I say line" will tell you everything you want to know.

Many Luo men from the older generation love old Lingala music and football. The younger ones love cricket and rugby. Cricket because it is still a mystery to many Kenyans and rugby because of the macho image.

It does not matter how vast your experience or how much wealth you have, without a degree, you are nobody. Count the number of professors from this tribe at any of our universities and you will know what I'm talking about.

But despite all this, a Luo man will not think of investing his money in anything substantive. Women from other tribes believe that even if he marries a non-Luo, this man will eventually marry from his tribe.

Luhya Men

Though hard-working especially manually, Luhya men are said to be very content with what they have. Their rivals say this is lack of ambition.

That is why the shamba boys, watchmen and cooks joke comes from. Those in the know say the Ingoho (chicken) men are intimidated by the modern woman. They'd rather marry a girl from the village who is happy to stay-at-home. But if you get married to the man, be ready to take care of his children from his teenage days to date.

Luhya men never leave their children behind. In addition, you will always have a full house. These men have many dependants. So start by investing inmany utensils and big sufurias.

Unlike many men, you can always tell if a Luhya man is unfaithful. If he has not brought home a child from an illicit affair in five years, then relax, the man is an angel. And if you do not want to have a live-in mother-in-law, learn to cook ugali and mrenda before you marry this man.

If you cook him rice or githeri for supper, he will still be waiting for dinner. The one about Luhyas and their addiction to salaams clubs and small portable radios is an old cliché now.

Kalenjin Men

If you are looking for a generous man then look no further than a Kalenjin man will be elated to spend his money on any lady and her extended family.

For them, expensive is best. The joke doing the rounds is that if a Kalenjin man takes a lady shopping, he will beseech her to select the most expensive dress in the shop. They are also said to be very cold and remote.

They always manage to look vague when so much is happening around them. But this does not hinder them from the desire to date classy women.It is said that Kalenjin men have misplaced priorities.

They will build a stone house for the combine harvester and the cows and surround their homes
with beautiful fences while their houses are grass-thatched and mud-walled. Kalenjin men do not carry their spouses to town.

They leave them in the rural home to look after the shamba. Kaunda suits, preferably a maroon one and a cardigan worn with a suit is a must-have for any self-respecting Kalenjin man.

Men from the Kipsigis sub-tribe are reputed to be quite handsome.

Maasai Men

Maasai men are said to be fierce, courageous but unreasonable. You do not argue with one because you will provoke him to a feud.

A Maasai man will do anything to marry a beautiful woman. However, to them, wives are lower in rung than children. You will find them playing ajua the whole day as they await the return of
their wives and children from grazing the cattle. For a Maasai man, serious business is getting an extra wife year after year.

Kisii Men

The description "tall, dark and handsome," applies to the Kisii man. They are also known to be charming when the fiery tempers take a back seat.

But like all gorgeous men, they several other women on the side apart from you. They are said to be so emotional that they will cry as they are beating you up.

Meru Men

For a die-hard Meru man, it is against taboo to enter the kitchen. He would rather starve to death than enter this domain, which he believes to be strictly a woman's.

A Meru man's temper is unmistakable. If you dare to provoke him, he will very easily smash you to pieces. No matter how well exposed or versed in the Queen's English he is, the Meru accent will never go away.

They have an attitude problem and take everything personally. They are also said to be quite bossy in a relationship. What he says goes


OK. now i have to go. machachari has started

ANALYSIS OF KENYAN WOMEN

Kikuyu women
Everyone has heard the one about Kikuyu women. How they plait their hair, read a novel or knit and placidly inform their partners to cover them when they are through with their business.
If one day you return home to find an empty house and your children gone, then you are in the groove with a Kikuyu. They are known to be "packers". They will pack and go with the children and furniture after 40 years of hard labour on a marriage.
A common saying goes "A Kikuyu woman will treat you like a king as long as you have cash, but toss you like rotten mutura (traditional sausage) once you are broke."

Cynics say Kiambu women are so materialistic they will kill their marriages to enjoy the wealth alone. One Kikuyu lady coined the following phrases to her defence, "I would rather cry on a Mercedes than laugh on a bicycle. "Money is not everything it is the only thing."
But Lydia Wambui comes to her sisters' defence. "Everyone loves money. You cannot go to your landlord or the headmaster at your children's school and say, 'we are in love, please understand us for not paying.' Love is no substitute for money."
Wags also poke fun at the culinary skills of Kikuyu women. They will mix rice, arrow roots, sukumawiki, potatoes, githeri and all imaginable ingredients in one pot. Their men have to always sneak out to enjoy nyama choma or chapati in a smoke-filled joint on their own.
They say all women are said to be schemers but the Kikuyu have perfected it to an art. On the first date, they have you all sized up. Wallet size, level of education, future ambitions. So by the second date, you will be paying their rent.
The Nyeri ones are fabled to be harsh and authoritative. If you have the bad fortune of marrying one, chances of being her punching bag are inevitable. They are the Thatchers of Wahome Mutahi fame.
Rivals in love will also dismiss them on account of their figures. Below five inches in height, light complexioned, round pretty face with long lovely hair, oversized chests, voluminous hands, flabby waist lines, ironed out behind, vertical hips all suspended on hockey-sticks-like legs.
They are known to have an undying thirst for white shoes.
Yet even their hottest critics acknowledge that they are so hard-working and organised that their men only come home in the evening to collect cash for their drinking sprees.

Kamba Women
The myth of the sex athlete goes back a long way. Kamba women are known to be a force to reckon with. That is why they are hot material for barmaids. By the time she is 30, she in total control. It is said that they are given a thorough briefing by their aunts and grandmothers as part of their initiation rituals.
And yes, many of these women are unbelievably stunning in looks. She gives you a killer smile, giggles knowingly, and you want to marry her there and then.
So why do Kamba women marry in the military? Army men's weddings are full of glamour and endless feasts. They also love celebrity.
However, for them, serious business is popping up juniors year after year.
And if you want to feed numerous dependants, then marry a Kamba. By your third date, her cousins, grandparents, sister's boyfriend......are on your miserable payroll.
And of course there's the joke about colours clashing. You know, a mix of screaming orange and luminous green is a God sent match for them.

Coastal women
A police friend once informed me that their officers are given a firm warning when they get transfers to the Coast. You will need all your wit and guile to resist the coconut women. Love potions come in handy. Once the man is fixed with it, he is transfixed to her for life. You are her boi (boy) eternally.
Critics say these women are so idle that they spend the whole day applying henna all over their bodies, prepare elaborate weddings and cook biryani the whole day as they gossip.
Stories have it that these women are well coached in the art of pleasing their husbands. No one understands better that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach - chapatis and pilau (which they are experts in making) do the job.
On the looks department they are endowed with dashing looks and mellow voices.

The Taita are said to make exemplary, humble wives. But when they make up their minds that a relationship is headed for doom, they are known to vanish back to their parent's faster than you can say 'mdavida'.

Luo women
Lakeside women are said to stick to their men like glue as long as they suspect love is in the air. But don't you dare look at another woman! If you do, she will have you and the other woman by the neck.
They are in love with first impressions. You have to have class. If you wear moccasins on the first date and drive a pick-up, she will dump you like rotten fruit.
And you better talk English (never Kiswahili) with a rounded twang. Big words (especially the ones she does not understand) make a lifelong impact. And the restaurant better be classy, not necessarily expensive.
If you fulfil all these, by the tenth date, you will spot her clothes in your wardrobe. She has moved in.
Luo women are prided to have "drop dead gorgeous" bodies - with 'Adhiambo sianda' being their brand name. True African figures, they say.
They are also known to be good cooks and bewitching lovers.

Luhya
These women are known to be modest and to have austerity. They cannot stand extravagance. A Luhya woman would rather stay at home and drink numerous cups of tea than have you take her for an expensive dinner.
But as long as there is constant supply of ugali and Ingoho (chicken), she is yours for keeps.
Then they are known to be in the business of making children. If she is not breast-feeding, she is pregnant.
The internet caricature paints her as a being born-again, and forever busy. She is the village chairperson, treasurer of your kids kindergarten PTA, secretary of the women merry-go-round, weaves baskets in addition to being out every night for church Keshas.
And if you are thinking of meeting the boys over a Tusker .....then this is the wrong type. Luhya ladies are protective. And with their strong physiques, you would rather follow mummy's advice than have your bones broken.
Curly kitted hair is their distinctive look. They love it so much that every Luhya woman who prides herself as having a distinguished style will have her hair roasted for this look.

Kalenjin
My colleague informs me, that if you are bombarded with unsolicited information about her many prominent and rich relatives in the previous government, right after the first kiss, then you have nabbed a Kalenjin lady.
Promise a Kalenjin woman marriage and she is yours for keeps. If you play your cards right then you can take her home on the second date. Strictly missionary.
They are agreeable and submissive, but rather like their alcohol. Nagging they are not but their tempers are legendary so why do they say if you come home after three days, smelling of a strange perfume and with red lipstick all over your white shirt, a kalenji woman will not utter a word?
If they discover their man is unfaithful, they will kill themselves and drown the children.
Kalenjins like to joke that Nandi women are lazy, Tugen are rude and the Marakwet violent.

Maasai
Maasai women are unquestionably obedient. They will never dream of correcting their menfolk. They still view their husbands as "lord of the house"
People believe Masaai men are still glued to the custom of planting spears outside their age group member's manyattas to warn the husband that serious business is taking place inside the manyatta. Their wommmen toil like oxen. They build the manyattas, graze the cattle, cook, farm in addition to rearing children.
They are also generous with their husbands. Even if their husband married the 7th wife in three years, they will not object. In fact they encourage their spouses to marry - you know, to share the work.
They can be astoundingly beautiful.

Meru
If you are head over heels in love with a woman and is sure she loves you secretly, but she is playing hard to get by the 30th date, then you have struck a Meru.
Bar room talk has the Meru woman so faithful and agreeable that they will fight divorce to the bitter end. They are traditional and remote, with the village never coming out of them.
Like their men, they are reputed to be hot tempered and can shred you to pieces if you cross their path.
In the looks department, a Meru woman will hold her own against any beauty queen.

Kisii Women
Once a Kisii woman has it in her head that you make her world rock, then you have a lifelong attachment. She will never leave, even if you hire ten bulldozers to evict her from your house.
Thy are also well known for their fiery tempers. Recent cases in the media about battered husbands involved Kisii women.
As for money, they are the reverse of Kikuyus - money and posh cars do not impress them much. And when it comes to dressing? Those in the know say their dress sense is not the most impressive

WHO IS THE MAN?

Men and women have many of the same needs, but they tend to be weighted differently. In relationships, we all want to feel loved and respected. However the way that is accomplished is somewhat gender specific. It’s the Mars, Venus syndrome.

When a man has the respect of his mate, it actually makes him want to become a better person. When it comes to relationships, feeling respected is a huge issue for most men. So, while some of the items on this list are very similar to the ones found in  you will notice that the list leans more toward respect than toward love. Realize that for a man, the two are basically synonymous.

In relationships, most men are easily encouraged. Your approval is a powerful motivator and applying some of these simple steps will yield great results.

1. Communicate with him respectfully.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree.
4. Ask for his help.
5. Let go of the small stuff.
6. Tell him you love and respect him, and that you like him.
7. Give him some space for his hobbies
8. Show him that you respect him.
9. When you go out together don’t bring up problems.
10. Focus your attention on what he’s doing right.
11. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
12. Be happy and positive when he comes home.
13. Give him half an hour to unwind after work.
14. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully.
15. Defend him to any family member who tries to dishonor him.
16. Compliment his efforts above his performance.
17. Seek his advice when you face challenges.
18. Set and work on goals together.
19. Don’t over commit yourself, leave some time for him
20. Be forgiving when he unintentionally offends you.
21. Find ways to show him you need him. Guys need to be needed.
22. Don’t fill his every spare moment with chores.
23. Peel away your pride and admit your mistakes.
24. Rub his neck and shoulders when he is stressed.
25. If he wants to talk, listen and ask viewpoint questions.
26. Express appreciation for his hard work.
27. Tell him you are proud of him for the person he is.
28. Give advice in a loving way; do not in a nag him.
29. Reserve some energy for him when he wants you sexually.
30. Don’t expect him to spend all his time on u.
31. Commend him for being a good man.
32. Brag about him to other people even when he’s not there.
33. Share your feelings with him but keep it abbreviated.
34. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
35. Honor him and show your respect in front of everyone.
36. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to.
37. Be his helper in whatever ways he needs it.
38. Accept that sometimes he just wants to be with you and not talk.
39. When he’s in a bad mood don’t crowd him.
40. Help him accomplish his goals.
41. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
42. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
43. Thank him for things he’s done around the house.
44. Don’t expect him to always notice everything you do.
45. Consult him before making important plans.
46. Let him sleep in when he can.
47. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical with him.
48. Initiate sex periodically but be responsive more often.
49. Get to the point in your discussions without endless details.
50. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out together.
51. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he misspeaks.
52. Don’t quarrel over words.
53. Be kind and courteous with him.
54. Don’t blame him every time things go wrong.
55. When he blows it don’t say, “I told you so.”
56. Never argue over money, he already feels responsible.
57. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him.
58. Praise his good decisions and minimize the bad ones.
59. Don’t expect him to read your mind, we’re not that smart.
60. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff.
61. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
62. When you’re angry don’t give him the silent treatment.
63. Look your best for him and make him proud to be seen with you.
64. Be his best cheer leader.
65. Acknowledge his successes in areas of everyday life.
66. Patiently teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
67. Thank him for just being himself.
Do you have something to add?
Be my guest!

shoulda woulda coulda

So say you meet a guy, you guys totally click and by date three move to the next level (sex…just to clarify). While he still seems interested, it’s been taking him weeks to contact you again, what do you do? Is the connection a strong enough reason to keep giving him a chance? Or is it time to cut your losses and move on?
We asked 1,000 guys what they think and surprisingly (or not) 56% say you should let him go and move on.

“She should go. Obviously he isn’t all that interested if it takes him up to 3 weeks to follow through with their plans. Not saying having sex on the 3rd date is a bad thing but she should have held out a little longer. She should definitely not fight for this guy. If he’s worth fighting for he’ll fight for her.” – Paul, 43

“Sounds like he has something else going on. No point in hanging around, perhaps give him an ultimatum and then gauge his response. Or, just come out and ask him about his intentions. It is definitely time to get ready to possibly walk away if you are unable to deal with him in this capacity.” – Jon, 32

26% of guys think that you should keep trying.

“She could try being more patient and let nature take its course. After 3 dates she shouldn’t be expecting him to buy her a ring. She may want to think about the effects of sleeping men she meets on the internet more carefully.” – Matt, 27

“Are you really that desperate for a relationship, love, marriage, children, and life that you base a breakup on a guy going slow? Come on, cut some slack! Did you have a good time?  Does he have potential? If yes, keep dating the guy and ENJOY IT. If it works fine, if not that’s fine too. You’re 20…it’s not like you have biological clock ticking. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a job interview.” – John, 45

And last but not least; 18% of guys think you should talk to him before making any decision.

“She should try another time, talk to him seriously and if he is not serious, she should go” – Henri, 29

“I think what she should do is talk to the guy if he really wants him. Don’t put yourself in a position where you just assume that the guy is serious with you or not. Be open and honest with the guy about how he feels about you and if he sees a relationship with you.” – Joseph, 32

Bottom line it’s really up to you to decide if the connection is strong enough to stay around, but maybe in the future, even if you click, you should hold out a little longer to move to the next step.

NAME DATING

in the dating world, names mean a lot. Sometimes, when you mention you are dating an Alfred or a Olivia, you are given a thumbs up, you are safe. Today, we bring you a list of names which are usually related to the worst crimes in the dating world.

Andrew, now these guys have earned our worst name on the list. Andrews love money with a passion and may even substitute you for money. Their lust for money matches that they have for women, these guys love women. Anything in a skirt is worth looking over and they do not waste any time. They are so jealous it hurts. They don’t like it when you see any other guy, talk or even call or receive calls from a guy. Their arrogance is disarming, they think they are the best people in the world and do not accept wrongs. They are even so talkative but at least they are social. They talk to people and can easily make friends anytime.

Allan, we love these guys, I mean they are handsome but when it comes to relationships. They are quiet. It is hard getting a word out of these guy’s mouth, you may even die trying. It is so funny how a guy can de-tooth, these guys love money but do not work for it. They get money from the women willing to part from money. They are plan-less, they lack focus for the future, and they survive on their sharpness. They can easily work their way through life without working a notch for what they have and they will have the guts to say they are doing well, financially.

Brian, this name is related to the era of Mills and Boon where names like Ryan were rampant. Brian are unusually handsome and so hot, you may fail to find a fault with them, till you get in a relationship with them. They are usually poor men, they rely so much on their physical beauty that they forget they have to work to earn a living. Their beauty makes them players, they know they can get any woman they want without a hustle. Being handsome comes hand in hand with short-temperedness. They know they are handsome so nothing can stop them from getting what they want, anger them and they will get unnecessarily angry and walk out on you. To make matters worse, they will have the guts to accuse them of being in the wrong, they are so defensive when it comes to arguing their case.

Christopher is a name for quiet guys. They are so shy and in a way lack purpose, they do not have future plans, they live for today and tomorrow has to take care of itself. They have characters of women like looking downcast instead of looking into someone’s eyes; their manners are almost lady like. This makes them an easy target for the women that’s why they are womanizers. They love women and do not hide it, at least to them selves.

Daniel is another name that attracts a lot of attention. These guys are horny, I do not know how scientific that is but it is true, they love sex so much it is annoying. They are a handsome lot and players. They love women and women love them back but are not relationship oriented. They can get casual flings but when it gets to getting serious, they run away.
Emmanuel, these guys shame the origin of the name. They are womanizers to the dot, they don’t let anything in a skirt go by without commenting, wooing or even saying hi. They are bold enough to say they are single in front of their girlfriends and still feel okay about it. They are proud and arrogant. They know they have good communication skills with the ladies and use this to get them far. However, they are not disarmingly handsome, their tongues is the only weapon they have on the women.
Isaacs are lady killers, they have romantic fibers in their bodies and know it. This makes them players and unfaithful. They have what it takes to make women satisfied and once you get one, you will know what I am talking about. But, be careful, Isaacs are proud and brag about their ability to get as many women as they want. So, be on guard.
Richards are unusually good people. They are quiet, humble and do not like experiencing life. Risks are not in their genes and they do every thing right, that is why most Richards do things like being a waiter, wall painters, they love drinking and parting without any clue on how tomorrow will be.
Timothy- proud, arrogant, braggarts and do not have a care in the world. Most of them are not handsome, they are usually financially stable and they do not want any problem, if you call women that. They love women, just like Brian and they go for who ever is available. They are more comfortable with casual not serious relationships.
Lastly, we have Steve; such a sweet name but totally wrong characters. Steves are usually rigid people, our parents and parents before them were called Steve and all they want is to be traditional, to the dot. They can’t stand change and they let you know that. When he likes you, be ready to get a knife to cut him off because these guys are ‘supergluers’. They stick on you lest you run away from them. They will stalk you till you block their phone numbers or report them to the police.
That is all that we had for you in relation to the names of the men which are to be careful about. If you have one who is not on this list, let us know, if he is on the list and the characters do not apply on him, be happy, he is 1% of those who do not have these character traits.
Do not worry gentlemen, i also bring you the names of those women you should try avoiding.
Women are lovely characters, beautiful, loving, caring, and the like. But they are also vile creatures. We bring you the wickedest girl names, these girls are men killers and they love the job.
Grace, this is a name for the extremely sexy women. They love life and they are beautiful. Do not be deceived though. These ladies are heart breakers, they cheat like hell and do not give a damn. They wait for you to love them, fall head over heals and leave you gaping after them when they are done with you.
Sandra, these beautiful creatures of God are greedy, not for men but for food. They love food, the same way they love men and money. The two go hand in hand, you have money and you are a man, just stretch your arms and she will fall into your embrace. When you love one, be careful, they are argumentative. They argue with any kind of thing worth arguing about. They carry on to defensive, they try to be in the right all the time and they do not miss a thing. They are a jealous lot. When they get a man, they are ready to bite off someone’s head if she touches her man.
Irene, they are the epitome of beauty but are cowards. They do not have the courage to do anything worth remembering. But, they are sex maniacs. These women love sex as much as money. They de-tooth money from men like no man’s business. They look good so you can not know they do not work for what they have.
Suzan, sorry guys but these ladies are not attractive. They are so quiet and faithful in all their endeavors. But be careful, they may run out on you once they gain their self esteem. They are bold and outspoken; if you are looking for that, don’t look any further than any lady called Suzan.
Sharon is a name associated to beauty, unfaithfulness, sexiness, and money. These are unusually beautiful and they know it. They will treat men like dirt if you try to woo her and when you finally succeed, she will let you do everything for her. You will fuel her car, pick her up from work and the rest, she is beautiful and you do not want to lose her, right? They mastered the skill of lying and break hearts steadily.
Barbra is a name linked to fat girls and casual relationships. They do not want anything serious so they settle for a little love and then they leave. They are argumentative and they want you to know they are right all the time.
Rachael is now another name to reckon with. They are beautiful girls who do not care for anything in the world. They are beautiful and unfaithful women. Women usually called Rachael love money and they want to get it all the time.
Elizabeth are quiet women, faithful. They are however also proud and boring. Their silence gets too deafening and this makes you yearn for something fun every time you are with them.
Mary is a name to avoid at all costs. These women are stickers, they stick to whoever man is available. To the women, if you have a Mary friend, be careful they are men snatchers. They will stick to your man and not leave till they through you out of the picture. They are schemers, they plan strategies to get you hooked or even killed.
Last on our list is Sarah. Most men know what I am talking about. Sarah is a name linked to arrogance, beauty, pride, money and unfaithfulness. Most of them are proud of their beauty, or rather that other Sarahs are beautiful. They love money and they show it in every way. You can spell unfaithfulness in their eyes and arrogance is their sister.
Women are considered vile creatures because they have the power to make men weak. However, be careful when looking for one, and these names can help you. If I did not put a name, comment, I will know, if I did and she is not like that, be glad.

WHY WOMEN HATE OTHER WOMEN

Women compete with each other at a societal level, the criteria for winning is usually set by others and the results are subjective and intangible. Women are usually judged by characteristics that they have little control over; something that they did not create, and that exist outside of themselves such as their physical appearance. Her success is based on subjective, biased, external validation by others. She can't see how to beat her rival because her rival is in no more control of the outcome than she is. How can you really be more beautiful than another woman, when the decision is nothing more than someone else's opinion of beauty?

How can you change someone's personal preference for a certain body size and shape, a particular eye color or a fondness for Kikuyus? How many people are needed to think that you are beautiful before it is a valid or meaningful judgment? Who do you need to tell you that you are beautiful before you can believe it to be true... construction workers, truck drivers, the man walking down the street, your pastor, the Pope, your boss? Women compete with each other for male attention and compliments as if it feeds their self-worth and self-esteem. Women try to dress sexier and have shapelier bodies than other women.

Women instinctively know that men have little power when it comes to sexual intercourse in male and female relationships. Women know that if a platonic relationship exists between a male and a female, ninety percent of the time it is a platonic relationship because the woman does not want to have sex with the man instead of visa versa. Most women do not feel that men are psychologically or biologically capable of resisting another woman's sexual prowess because of their undying love, loyalty and respect for their committed relationship with them. If a man does not engage in a sexual relationship with a woman who is drop dead gorgeous, most women believe that it is because the other woman was in control of the outcome of the type of relationship. Women intuitively know that most heterosexual males find extraordinary beautiful women sexually irresistible and if that extraordinary beautiful woman wanted her man, he would be hers for the taking.

Women are so busy competing with each other for male attention that they do not have the psychological, intellectual or emotional insight to change the social climate that is causing them to suffer from low-self esteem. Women think of men as being promiscuous, unfaithful, lying, cheating dogs. But what most women need to come to grips with and understand is that research shows that a man is most likely to have a sexual affair with a woman's best friend, relative or neighbor... a woman whom she trusts, loves and respects. One of the reasons that men who cheat are so successful at it is because women allow them to because they are in competition with each other.

Women believe that they are superior to other women if they are physically more attractive. In a commercial for a diet pill a woman bragged, "I am now smaller than the woman my husband left me for." This statement leads me to believe that she felt that she deserved her husband's infidelity when she was over weight. Her motive for losing weight was to be physically smaller than the other woman that her husband left her for. She viewed the other woman as competition more so than feeling betrayed by her husband's disloyalty. The wife's motive for losing weight was not to improve the status of her health or increase her self-esteem but be smaller than her competition__ the other woman. The weight control commercial is blatantly telling women that they need to look a certain way in order to earn their husband's love and fidelity. It doesn't matter whether or not you cook his meals, raise his kids, and support his dreams... what matters most in a relationship is whether or not you are physically attractive enough to keep your man at home. There is an assumption that it is natural for a man to cheat on a woman who he feels is no longer sexually appealing. Many women believe that it is their fault when their husband or boyfriend cheats on them because they are not attractive enough to keep him faithful.

A woman's perception of self-worth is validated outside of her self from others and this affects her internal psychological concept of her own value as a human being. Women compete indirectly with other women because they have not learned how to recognize and channel their internal desires, feelings and goals into physical, tangible realities. Once women learn that they can not control or live vicariously through their children or the man in their life; they will stop hating each other and focus on their individual unique gifts, talents and assets.

Why do women hate other women?
1. Women feel that their biological prime-time is limited. She can easily be replaced by a new younger, more beautiful woman. Youth is a woman's fair-weathered friend.
2. Women feel that other women control their man's sexual fidelity.
3. Women feel that their level or degree of physical beauty is based on luck as opposed to something that she controls.
4. Women feel that other women can take something that they have worked hard to earn by using their beauty on the job, school and the legal system because men will be taken by her beauty.
5. Women feel that other women can not be trusted. They gossip too much, they are phony and they would take your man right before your eyes.
6. Women feel that other women divert attention away from them.
7. Women feel psychologically competitive with other women to be more attractive.
8. Women subconsciously believe that if they merely looked like another woman, they could inherit her life, her diamond, her man, and people would look at her with the same admiration.
The following dialogue was edited from a variety of websites discussing how women relate to each other:
Points to Ponder:
o You can never stop a man from looking at or admiring another woman's beauty. Do you really feel that another woman is more valuable as human being than you are simply because of her physical appearance?
o You are more than your physical body. What talents, gifts or skills do you have to contribute to society?
o You can not control what other people think of you. Once you truly accept the truth that you have no control over other people's thoughts about who you are or how you should live your life; you will be free to design your own life from the inside out.
o You can never compete with anyone but yourself.
o The only person who you can control is yourself...period.
o Whatever you seek in other people develop in yourself. You don't need to marry a doctor; become a doctor.
o You are the most important person in the world who must believe, acknowledge and recognize your own authentic and unique beauty. Why should anyone love and respect you more than you love and respect yourself.

HOW TO STEAL THAT BITCHES MAN

 

Many a time it happens that the guy you have a crush on, turns out to be someone’s boyfriend. In such a case, because of this attraction for him, you tend to look for ways to attract him towards you. Though this may not sound easy, it is quite possible to create a good impression on him. Slowly and steadily you can finally make him leave any girl for you

The first thing you have to do in order to attract a guy who is already seeing someone is to try to be around him most of the time. You need to find out ways to assure a constant contact with him. This can be done by joining some class where he is regular or visiting places where he usually hangs out. Once you see each other frequently, you should try to become his friend, and strike a conversation with him.

When starting a conversation, try to pick up a topic of his interest so that he instantly gets involved. Make sure that you do not indulge in a monologue and keep babbling about yourself as this will surely turn him off. Talk about something in general or make him notice that you often cross each others way.

Once you start a conversation with the guy, it is important that you listen to whatever he says to you. This is because guys generally like girls who are patient listeners. However when you speak to him, it is better that you watch how and what you talk to him. You would never want to sound immature or selfish in front of. Also do not reveal much about you in the very first conversation, this may leave him desiring to know more. Next, do pay special attention to your body language.

Confessing your love directly may not be a good idea in the beginning. Instead, it is better that you give him signs and signals signifying your feelings towards him. Once you get to know him better, it is the right time for you to tell him straight forward what it is that you want from him before you go any further. This is because if he is serious about his girlfriend, he might not be interested in you and you have to respect his decision.

Whatever you do to attract the guy having a girlfriend, you have to ensure that it does not look too obvious that you are trying to steal him from his girlfriend. This will only build a bad reputation for you. Never sound or look desperate when around him or when you talk to him as this too creates a bad impression about you. By implementing these tips, you stand a good chance of attaining your goal.

women

If you kiss her,
you are not a gentleman
If you don't,
you are not a man 

If you praise her,
she thinks you are lying
If you don't,
you are good for nothing 

If you agree to all her likes,
you are a wimp
If you don't,
you are not understanding 

If you visit her often,
she thinks you are boring

If you don't,

she accuses you of double-crossing

if u are well dresses

she says you are a playboy

If you don't,

you are a dull boy 

If you are jealous,

she says it's bad

If you don't,

she thinks you do not love her 

If you attempt a romance,

she says you didn't respect her

If you don't,

she thinks you do not like her 

If you are a minute late,

she complains it's hard to wait

If she is late,

she says that's a girl's way 

If you visit another man,

you're not putting in "quality time"

If she is visited by another woman,

"oh it's natural, we are girls" 

If you kiss her once in a while,

she professes you are cold

If you kiss her often,

she yells that you are taking advantage 

If you stare at another woman,

she accuses you of flirting

If she is stared by other men,

she says that they are just admiring 

If you talk,

she wants you to listen

If you listen,

she wants you to talk 

In short:

So simple, yet so complex

So weak, yet so powerful

So confusing, yet so desirable

So damning, yet so wonderful... ....WOMEN!

RADIO SHOW IN TROUBLE

A radio show where men express erotic feelings for children may force the Kenyan government to crack the whip on explicit call-in sessions.

For some years, Kenya’s Ministry of Information and Broadcasting has expressed concern over the proliferation of “pornographic” talk shows aired at inappropriate time slots. In spite of this, the government is wary of being criticized for infringing on media rights.
However, a popular radio talk show may have gone beyond the bounds of entertainment. Maina Kageni’s weekday morning show on Classic 105 attracts big ratings because of its no-holds-barred content. Recently, a male caller confided on air of fantasies involving his own children. Many radio listeners were outraged that the sentiments were allowed over the airwaves.
Child sex abuse is becoming a grave problem in Kenya with parents identified as major culprits.
Kageni’s talk show targets the over 25 age group. Callers are encourage to discuss sexual problems such as cheating or impotence. Kageni and his side-kick Mwalimu King’ang’i have also brought out such weird sexual behavior as wife/husband swapping, sex in church among others.
Government reaction towards Maina Kageni and Classic 105 has remained muted so far. However, outrage among members of the public my force some sort of curbs on the content that is discussed in the media.
In 2007, there was a Kenya Communications Act that aimed at regulating the airing of appropriate, “culturally-sensitive” content but the bill was condemned by Kenya’s media industry as a threat to press freedom.

CLASSIC FM'S LEAKED SMS'S

Next time you send a text to an FM Station
know that they log your number and
conversation. Be warned. Do you know the
numbers below?

 
Topic today was partying without
panties.
Why do ladies go nuts whenever they see
celebs?

254737933906
Classic fm. Maina its not our fault u guys drive us
craizie na if u mix wid manyege wat cant we do?
Luv u guys
254721969828
Fally Ipupa ni msupuu. I didn't remove my pant
but had an orgasm by imagining him in me.............
I didn't misbehave that much.
254721861010
Mornng maina & mwalimu, i was @ mike murimi
mugithi wth bibi wa bro wangu. nilimwona akijitia
kidole halafu akalamba na akaonyesha murimi! All
the ladies were doing it. Karibu nikufe na heart
atak.
254723055493
Maina! Wanawake wana wazimu, mwingine
alirushia husband yangu panti yake kwa uso
tukiwa lunch wimpy! Na huzzo akaiweka kwa
mfuko. Nilifeel mbaya.
254722777034
Maina, I hiked a lady neighbor-senior admin UNEP.
Frm the blues she told me "am in red thongs",
unziped n asked me if i could run my fingers
A few from the archives......
254720428104
Hi maina.i couldnt contribute on y'days topic coz i
was wth my hubby who soils & urinates on hmself
mpaka ndani ya viatu akilewa.pls ask such men wat
goes on in thea minds b4 & afta such deeds.wats
thea xcuse?do they gve a damn abt th family
feelings?pls i need 2kno.Dont call me now.he is
asleep. Ameingia kwa keja 5am. LENA
254714924039
maina, mine is terrible-he has nothin, haja soma-
yani my peroz and family dont penda him-I wish I
"road tested" him first coz after kumuoa, I found
out ako na kitu kama ya mtoi. am sexually starved-
pals tell me to get shag buddy, dildo, av thought of
goin gay yani the options are still comin-i am
absolutely single and willing to mingle though
married-love you guys
254722170198
Hi, maina cal me if u find time. I walked into my
house only to find my husband having sex with his
younger sister. Akaniuliza 'havent you heard of
privacey'. I'm confused. Gday
254725616895
Maina,my boyfrnd who is maried wants 2 funguwa
my boot na hajawahi funguwa ya bibi yake.pls help
mi cz istl lov him.mary 4rm kisii.
254726656190
Mina its just naturall a woman can make love with
more than 3 men in one day so long as u know
how to take a shower well no man will ever know.
Me I must get it from our tea boy at work juu ni
msupuu, a mechanic who operates in the plot next
to jobo and a neighbors son when he's on
holiday. Na bado mzee wangu kant notice.
254725555409
Hi maina, am screwed daily b4 i get home, i get 2
the house take a bath and if my man wants i'll give
it 2 him ave aborted 2wice nd he's nvr known.
From Milli
254718782326
Classic H! MaUna n mwalim am munaa frm mbs n
am in luv with my father in law n am 26 yrs his
57yrs n i luv him more than my hasband. We've
been sleeping with him tangu my first yr in
marriage. Ako na kitu kubwa!
254712405656
Classic 105, Hi maina, mine was worse coz my
mum's boyfriend alifanya juu chini tulale pamoja,
and he succeeded kumbe he turned out to be HIV
positive. Nimeregret sana.
254720474236
050003E70301Hi Maina,i was married, I cookd
4him variety of food,respectd him,na palepale,i
was da driver.He askd m 4 a3rd party,n brought
her as he wishes.He statd beating m up,akaninyima
my right place of sex coz he wntd ma Ass !Men cnt
b satisfied wit 1woman
254726837722
0500034A0201Ma husband's libido is veri
low.Marrd 3yrs now and have neva seen his goods
only by accdent. Now its 3mnths snc we had sex.
We have bcam a Bro an a sis. Am suffering sexualy
wat do i do.But am hapi in al other areas
254733251855
Maina todays discussion has to be longer,we are
miserable women..we end up having affairs with
relatives...help us. Like now am sleeping with my
first cousin...wambui
254729787848
Hi Maina. Been in a rut too .Married 4 the last 24
yrs to this ng'ombe. Love was alive for only the first
year then we became hse mates. It's too bad
mpaka he can't rise to the occasion for me. And
he's also tiny. So imagine a small thing that can't
wake up. Pathetic!
254722786970
0500032B0202 this lady has being using my
husbands 4ne when they r 2gether in bed telng mi
2listen hw sweet my husband is en then she
screams. God wht im i sapposed 2do.
254721691952
Nothing wrong with a woman who can control her
drinking like me. My hubby is a drunk who cant
control his drinking. Alikuja sato morning high
akakojoa ndani ya wardrobe badala ya choo yet he
keeps saying am the drunk! Karo
254716671031
Dnt be stupid Maina...I have a woman who drinks
n she is generally n extremely dirty, first her
genitals! Beer aint good 4 women... am tired of
being woken up at 3am four times a week
kumfungulia. Last week I refused to open and
found her in the watchman's kibanda in the
morning on my way to work. I've kept wondering if
she gave him.
254722609997
Maina morning am a drinker n trust me i hv never
ceased to be a gud mother to my 3 kids n wife to
ma hubbi. The fact that naweza maliza 2 bottles of
viceroy in one night doesn't make me a bad
mother! Jana nilikunywa 3 quarters juu kulikuwa
Sunday.
254722483913
So maina what if she drinks and doesnt come
home and doesnt want to be asked where she is?
Mine went out on Friday jioni and akarudi jana
morning. Nikamuuliza ikakuwa vita. We have 3 yr
old twins. Naogopa ukali wake.
254715786001
Hi Maina,salimia King'ang'i. Maina,wachana na hao
wanasema ati bibi asilewe. My wife drinks,I don't.
Na mimi humpeleka kwa bar namwacha huko
akitosheka ananipigia ama analetwa na rafikfi zake.
Only one day I was worried. Alinipigia akiwa florida
5am and her friends walikuwa wamemwacha.
Apart from that day, I see no issues with her enjoy
a drink.
254722162484
Hi Maina, am irene 24 yrs. I was involved with a
catholic priest . He took me from my rural home
and rented a hse 4 me . akaleta brother yake
akanilazimisha nilale nayeye. Sikujua alikuwa
anapenda porno pia. When I refused kuwatch
nayeye akanifukuza. Plz help me kol him juu
hachukui simu zangu. His fone no. 0721 895762 or
0735854143(Fr.Joseph
254725939592
Maina, his weight bothers me coz it affects
palepale imagine ana choka haraka sana and he
drips streams of sweat!na style zingine hawezi!
Every time we do it, am worried atakufa juu yangu
na vile ni mzito! mariam
254703974613
Av bn married 4one yr.Hez gaining weight n maina
u knw the kitambi bng a pivot on me that puts me
off! Namuona akiwa naked sometimes nakimbia
kwa choo nitapike! n the longest he cn go is
4mins!he rols over n snores.nkt! I normally just sit
and stare at his kathing vile kamekunjika naskia
huzuni.
254721230670
Yes! I hate my husband of 23 years he eats like a
big pig! Kitambi kama ya ngombe! Yeye huleta
food kutoka fridge ili akule kwa bedroom usiku. Na
bonoko ni kama yesu. Bado nangoja irudi.
254750383848
Morning Maina? Can you imagine comìng home
5pm and ur wife in nities with a stocking on, matiti
hunging kama socks, the hse is dirty and the bed
is not even made. Why not stay away get drunk
and come at 3am and find this monster asleep.
Ubaya nakuja nimelewa and see her thing juu
amelala fuaa and she doesn't shave. She makes me
sick!
254721331466
Hey Maina and Kingangi,i use to treat my huby like
a king,gave him all the fredom and happiness in
the world but u know how he repayed,he left me
and now he's living with an old woman whom you
Maina know.He left me with a kid of 11/2yrs.
254727113432
Maina, my man is always at home early. What is the
formula for sending him away? Every time I pass
him, he wants sex. It's too much! Take him with
you to your bar. I'll even pay you.
And on today's topic on doing it with in-laws, here
are some texts....
254716191962
Me i do it every 9te 4 de last 3month wid my bro-
in-law iam 18 i dont like it coz ihv ma boyfriend in
coast n ihv never sexed wid him I dont know wat
2do ATÂ
\
254722489878
Maina my real mother has been molesting me.
Niliamka nikamukuta akininyonya. Who can I report
to? Steve
254724370542
MAINA NOT OUR DAD ALOME. AV BIN HAVING
AFFAIR WITH MA ELDER BRO NA TUMEZAA A BABY
BOY. TOO MUCH ATTACHED N NONE OF US IS
MARIED.HE REALY SATIFIES ME SEXUALLY
254723147780
Hey Maina pliz help me cos i found out that am
datng my half bro. na ninaexpect! help. Brenda
And a karandom one...
254733573281 My wife is so dull, every time I try
some positions all I get is "Baba nani, usiniharibu
huko nyuma!" na dada yake ananicheki.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NAIROBI

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NAIROBI

Married or older women are the most controversial kind of people there is. But the ones from Kenya's capital are even more intriguing. This in an in depth analysis of these kinds of women from Nairobi.

MAMA PIMA MBOGA

This woman is a real hustle.Her hubby is some dead beat guy who is either too lazy to work or is lost his job because of his excessive drinking. She probably has a horde of kids and miraculously sends them all to school. She has borrowed from every shop within her reach. She owns that small kiosk that sells greens or has a small hotel that she cooks for construction workers. Her hubby is always goes missing in action on Friday evening and is found in a nearby ditch totally drunk and messed on himself.

MAMA CHAMA.

This is the woman everybody in the estate fears. She is the head of the local women's chama and her hubby is probably some rich bloke who funds her reign of terror. Her friends are just a bunch of parrots who agree on everything she says and are too scared to question her. She is the kind to mistreat her house help and can be easily mistaken for a Nigerian woman. She cares more about social status than anything else. She is very vain and will most probably make her husband bankrupt

MAMA PLOT

She is the extremely nosy woman living in your plot. She knows everything about you and your husbands marital problems and usually send her son to spy on you. Her windows are always open so that she can listen in on peoples conversations. She lives right nest to the main gate so that she can see all the people who are entering and leaving her house. She is so preoccupied with other peoples lives that she fails to notice that her husband is already shacking up with the help

MAMA BOI

This is the woman who cannot live without a maid. she is rarely seen at home and her kids are usually raised by the maid. Since the maid has more interest in chatting up the watchman, the kids are usually left unattended to and are seen wandering everywhere in the estate. She is probably a young woman moving up the career ladder or just too young to know better. She is the woman who you saw on KTN whose kid was stolen by the house help.

SUGAR MAMA

This is the rich old lady whose hubby just died. She drives a sauced up beamer. She has expensive tastes and loves the company of young men. She is the official cougar in the hood. Young women are scared of her because they know how easily she can get their boyfriends. She has no morals and the only force that drives her is not grief, but her ever growing libido

BABY MAMA

She is the woman who thought it was a good idea to trap a guy into marriage by having his baby. She is either married. Or happily scaring off any woman who shows interest in her baby's dad. Should you marry this woman's hubby, yours will be a life filled with so much drama only found on crappy soap operas.

MAMA PIMA
She is the lady who owns an illegal liquor breweries in her house. She makes illegal liquor at the back yard of her house. Every changaa ridden man in the area swears by her and claim that she makes the best changaa in the area. She has been operating this business for decades now and has surprisingly never been arrested. Maybe the fact that some officers are her customers and get free drinks is a plus. she is responsible for growing number of people loosing their sight. good thing she has a blind persons discount.

MADAM
She is the weird looking woman who runs a brothel in her house. She takes young innocent girls from the upcountry and lures them into the trade.A former call girl herself, she is unmarried and mostly spend her days drinking and smoking. Her compound is filled with scantly clad young girls. Big cars roll in and out of her compound. Her clients include very rich men. You are relieved to hear that she has been arrested for soliciting prostitution. Then you find out your hubby was on her regular clientele list.

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOP-A-HOLIC

If there is one think i can spend my whole salary on is clothes. I love shopping. But i am a conscious buyer. I always shop for bargains and sales and discounts. So, if u wanna shop on a budget, i am gonna list you down the best places u can get your money's worth and what to buy, when to buy it.

MR.PRICE....WHERE THE PRICE IS NOT RIGHT

i don't like the store. Never have, never will. They charge crazy prices for the most stupid things. Take for example a woolen Marvin. That thing  costs 1,100. U can buy the same thing brand new downtown for 200. Granted, its a Kenyan uniform and most probably 50percent of the Kenyan population has it. Am not a fan of having the same outfit as a scholar. So if Ur more into the whole unique look, u can head down to muthurwa and get that Marvin second hand and for as low as 100shs. They always have these Price to go sales every now and then. But thing is, those clothes are either too hideous, too worn out or just not worth being used as rags. Why should i buy a top for as mush as 2200 when i can get a prettier one of much better quality at 300bob?


WHERE TO BUY...THE ACCESSORIES
OK. i get the whole proud of your heritage crap but that doesn't mean u walk around looking like Ur wearing dried beans in your ears. The whole African accessories look is SO last season. Don't get stuck in a trend. And in any case, walking around looking like i have on plastic jewellery never jazzed me. So, looking for some really classy accessories? Check out moi avenue. There is this stall right next to Union towers past The beauty cosmetics shop. These guys are know their stuff. Their pieces are sooo original and long lasting. Granted, they are a bit more expensive than the regular stuff. But its nothing that will make you miss paying your rent


GARRISA LODGE.....WHAT U DIDN'T KNOW

Most people shop at garrissa lodge. But what most people don't know is how and where to shop at Garrissa. Most clothing stores and exhibitions in town buy their stock from wholesale shops at garrissa. There are two types of cloth vendors at garrissa. Whole sellers who only sell in bulk and retailers who sell singular clothes. I my dear friend only buy from the wholesale shops. Nope, i don't buy clothes in bulk. I just go to the whole sellers and strike up a deal. I see a dress i like and try to get the guy to sell it to me. Most of them refuse to sell. But you will always get one guy who wont pass up an offer to make a buck. OK. so here are some items which you should not buy more than the price i have listed
jeans-750
girl tops-500
poncho-1200
small shirts-450
dresses-900
trench coats-1500
if u buy those cheap shoes outside the stalls that cost around 300, you are in for a real shocker. They are of such poor quality that they will snap with two wears. buy your shoes in  those corner shops that exclusively deal with shoes. U will get gladiator heels for about 1600 and stilettos for 1800
handbags in garrissa are just too damn expensive. but they are cute and of good quality. 
so, if u haven't been to garrissa, just board a number 17 bus and head on there. Mark u, make sure u have Ur money safely tucked away and u dress down. That route is crazy. So, go to garissa and support our ever growing population of illegal aliens who don't pay taxes.


TOWN NIGHT MARKET

It is illegal to hawk in town. But that has never stopped our very aggressive Kikuyu brothers and sister from stalking the streets at night. These hawkers will show up at around 9 and usually keep the police force fit from all the running around with chasing them. This game of cops and robbers is usually noted when you see an old woman running around in town with a huge gunia on her back. I love town hawkers. Every good shoe i have i bought from them. Plus the belts. Let me not even get started. You will get a really strong beautiful leather belt for as low as 100bob. Plus they also sell really cool novels ranging from romance to motivational to magazines. The hawkers in uptown are really expensive. Mostly situated outside Betty's club, Maggie's or behind the Norwich towers. They sell their shoes fro 1000- 1500 bob. Too high a price for something you bought on the sidewalk. I know there are also hawkers around Odeon but that place is too dark for me to go alone. We went with a pal of mine there, and we were just too scared to go down there.


EXHIBITIONS.

I have nothing good to say about buying stuff at exhibitions in town. Only stupid people do that. Why buy something so mediocre like a shirt for as much as 1200 when you can get the exact same thing from garrissa at 400? why?  The only thing you should buy in town is fast food and those pirated movies for 50bob. Example, if you go shop at the exhibitions around the bazaar, you will be stunned. Kwanza they are owned by these silly Indians who wont talk to black people. F you! this country is ours. Keep away from this old Indian woman with brown specs. She is very rude and doesn't like it when you touch stuff. I highly suspect the Bras and the panties they sell there are second hand and probably formerly owned by that old hag. Coz they they are so hideous that she is the only one who can possibly have worn them. Plus they smell like her. I can recognise that cheap perfume a mile away. 4 real. This topic is not even worth me arguing about. I rest my case.


MAASAI MARKET

a way for Kenyans to get back the money stolen from them during the colonial days from the whites. Am telling you, these guys are ripped off like no ones business. If you just hear the prices these white people buy for stuff u will be wondering if they will be getting a title deed with it. But seriously. This place knows how to make the African style look cool. Buy some bracelets and and bangles to complete your look. Plus their safari themes shirts are really trendy. If you don't have a Kenyan flag shirt then shame on you. These really come in handy during rugby season. Who dares go to the Black rock or Safari sevens without a Kenyan flag shirt? U will look like a Gor fan lost central province. Yap. that awkward.


THE GREAT RIFT VALLEY VIEW POINT

If Ur heading to nakuru or anywhere those sides, make sure to stop by this place and buy something. You will find some really friendly Maasai selling stuff from animal skin hats to beaded accessories. Make a point of buying the animal skin hats. Granted, you cannot wear them anywhere. But just think how cool Ur profile pic will look if u take a pic in it. Make sure to leave your initials in the wooden fences around there. Its kind of a tradition. Will be heading there next week and will get to see if the initials i left 5 years ago are still there.


So, people. Get your shopping caps on. And remember....money cant buy you love, but it sure can buy you a nice pair of shoes.

TYPES OF KENYAN MEN

Kenyan men are probably the most versatile breed of people to come into existance. They come in all shapes and sizes and have can tend to hide their true nature. When it comes to dating, this poses a hard task for women in identifying the men they are with. Here is my take on what how to spot what breed of kenyan ur with

SUPER SENSITIVE STEVE

This is the guy you dumped because he was too nice. He would carry your handbag for you, called you 5 times a day and cried when you broke up him.He probably is always talking about marriage and has already picked out baby names.  He always wants to talk about feelings and stuff. Most probably working at some boring nine to five job. U met him at some singles semminar where he was the only guy. if ur dating this guy, run! There is only room for one chic in the relationship
Plus? well, he loves cuddling
Bummer? He always uses your shampoo


BUFF BRIAN

This guy is on every imaginable steroid in the market. He is probably a gym instructor or you always find him in the gym. He wears tight fitting clothes that make him look like a ball of muscle. This guy is either a male gigolo or is always flirting with the ladies. He is the guy that ever chic has his number as the rebound guy or the booty call. Most probably unemployed and has some rich sugar mummy financing him
Plus side? he doesn't talk so much
Bummer? u always have Ur gynaecologist number on speed dial


THE IGWES

U met him at some club in westie on Friday. Probably Galileo's. He was sitting alone having a drink and checking you out. He winks at you and you wink back. The rest as they say, is history. Then begins a whirling romance with him. But wait. suddenly, you cant wear short skirt or tight clothes. U cant go out with your friends. He expects you to be home before him and have a big dinner waiting for him. He is slowly pushing for you to leave your job and to be 100percent reliant on him. This guy is still stuck in the dark ages where women were just for reproduction. This guy will insist on a traditional wedding and may even take a second wife. He expects you to get pregnant the same week you got married.
plus side? paid a nice dowry
bummer? bye bye skinny jeans




GEORGY POGGY

This guy will probably grow up to be the uncle who cannot be left home with the kids. The well know child molester. Currently, he is the class pervert who is always taking pictures of chicks asses or the guy from work who always has his hands in his pants. He is a regular at nearly all brothels. He loves hooking up with random chicks.You probably met him online. His phone is filled with naked pics and lets not even get started with his porn collection at home. He probably got fired from his last job for sexual molestation. Works in the IT profession as most perverts are IT guys.  He will bang anything in a skirt
Plus side? he can forget Ur his girlfriend and leave you a tip in the morning
Bummer? he prefers the back door

BROKE-ASS BENJI

He always forgets his wallet at home all the time the two of you go out. He borrows money from you and has not paid back even a dime. He has baby mommas front, right and center. All his money goes to the court filled child support he is paying to his baby mommas. He is a lousy dad and even lousier boyfriend. girl! Just pick up TLC hit record No Scrubs and listen to it. i swear you will have an epiphany. I am all for dating all kind of people.but seriously? He cant pay for his dinner? See ya!
plus side? he has cute babies
bummer? baby momma drama

SAMMY THE SINGLE DAD

U met him at the park with his kids. Apparently, his baby momma left him for some other guy or wasn't ready to settle down. Dating this guy is like walking on a thin rope. He is always cancelling dates. Either his sons dog died or has the flu or maybe the baby sitter cancelled. You feel like you are always competing for his attention. There is nothing much i can say about this group because our country needs great dads like him. But that doesn't mean that you are of any less importance. Evaluate yourself and analyse how much baggage you can handle.
Plus side? he ain't afraid of commitment
Bummer? his daughter hates you


THE WOMEN BASHERS
These men hate women. They see nothing good in them. They probably had a bad experience with their previous girlfriend or had mothers who abandoned them when they were little. Most of these guys are players and don't have any remorse about playing a woman. They are the kind of guys who like talking about the stuff they did with their girlfriend and refer to the women in their lives as whore or gold diggers.
Plus side? you definitely know all he is not the one
Bummer? all his pals know about secret fetish


MANNY THE MOMMA'S BOY

This guy has never had to do any work thanks to his possessive mother. He probably works at his dads company as some irrelevant position they made just for him. He goes to work once a month. To pick up his paycheck. Dating him is like raising a toddler. He leaves his clothes everywhere and wont clean up after himself. He is always having his friends over at your place. To make matters worse, his mom always checks up on him to see if he has had a regular bowel movement ever 2hours.
Plus side?you get to have your own baby. minus the stretch marks and dirty diapers
Bummer? his mom doesn't think Ur good enough for him


PAUL THE POLITICIAN

This guy knows everything about anything that is going on around the word. He thinks you are arrogant for not following up with current affairs and stuff like that. He is always talking politics and about controversial issues. He always has an opinion on everything and is the guy who always starts arguments in bars. He is either an unemployed lawyer or a former politician. He makes you miss your favourite soap opera to watch some stupid documentary about obama. This guy also tends to be quite snoopy and will put some tracking software in your phone.
Plus side? he is like a walking encyclopedia
Bummer? he is unbearable during election season


CHARLES THE CHUBBY CHASER

These are men who have a strange fetish for fat women. They will only date women past the 100kg mark. Dont laugh. These kind of men are increasing and usually try to fatten up their girlfriends. He always says stuff like, i like women with meat on their bones. I really dont get this whole weirdness.
Plus side? wont bug you about ur love handles
Bummer? he really needs therapy

MAINA KAGENI FANS

This is the lot of guys who i am really sceptical about the most. cmon! A guy who is always on the radio in the morning listening to kenyan women talking about their non-performing husbands? This is the same lot who always listens to kiss fm's rush hour dramma and are a fan of easy fms ciku's busted. They even like phoning in to give their two cents of advice. I cannot trust a man who seeks advice about women from a gay guy.
Plus side? he loves yor favourite soaps
Bummer? he is a closet gay