Sunday 3 July 2011

WHAT KENYAN MEN WANT

A startling new survey has for the first time revealed the kind of woman the Kenyan man desires – she has a chocolate brown complexion, is of medium build, works part-time and has no children.
That is the dream woman for majority of Kenyan men, according to findings in a research commissioned by the Saturday Nation.
Most Kenyan men also want their ideal woman younger than them, shorter than them and earning less money than what they make. Even then, they are willing to let her share in making financial decisions but few would brook her family’s deep involvement in their relationship.
Kenyan men also prefer a woman who has the same level of education as they do, and expect to share domestic chores equally with them.
The survey, conducted by Infotrak Research & Consulting and Harris Interactive Global across the country’s eight provinces in the last week of July, sampled 1,200 single, married, separated and divorced men as well as those living with a partner. The sample is part of a 2,800 population for a larger survey.
Across all the clusters, majority believed that the best time to marry was between the ages of 26 and 35, indicating a shift of accent to completing education and settling into a career first before marriage.
Overall, those polled (54 per cent) wanted to be in a monogamous relationship while 30 per cent preferred an open relationship. Only 10 per cent of the population sample felt they should have the freedom to roam, while six per cent believed the woman could roam as long as they did not know.
Relationship attributes
Agreement was highest that current relationships are based on financial status (85 per cent), followed by love (76 per cent), character (72 per cent), physical appearance (70 per cent) and level of education (60 per cent), health (55 per cent), age (51 per cent) and cultural background (48 per cent).
Ideally, though, men would like to choose their dream woman on the basis of love and affection (78 per cent), followed by character (70 per cent), physical appearance (68 per cent), level of education (62 per cent), health (60 per cent), age (46 per cent), cultural background (44 per cent) and religious affiliation (38 per cent).
A significant proportion of men prefer a woman to have the same level of education as they do (45 per cent), but 20 per cent would like partners that have less education than they do. Only nine per cent are looking for women who have more education than they do. Twenty six per cent said it did not matter.
Just under half of the men polled would want the woman’s family to be very involved in their relationship against 34 per cent who would want it to be somewhat involved. Another 11 per cent would like her family to be very involved and 10 per cent said it did not matter.
On complexion, Kenyan men who like chocolate brown women was 47 per cent, medium brown 36 per cent while those who prefer the dark are 11 per cent. Yellow-brown complexioned women fit the fancy of only 4 per cent of those polled while one per cent desire bi-racial and another one per cent white women.
Pencil-thin women are the least popular with Kenyan men, with only two per cent of those polled saying they prefer them, and big, well-rounded ones winning the hearts of 22 per cent.
The clear winners are the medium-shaped women, who were cited as the preferred choice for 76 per cent of sample population.
Majority of those polled prefer women who are up to five years younger than them (41 per cent) or same in age (28 per cent). Only a tiny minority (15 per cent) prefer women who are five years younger than them. Five per cent said age did not matter while another five per cent preferred someone who was up to five years their senior, and another two per cent women who were more than five years older than them.
Only five per cent of the men polled would choose a woman who is taller than them. The majority prefer a woman shorter than them (45 per cent) or the same height (26 per cent). Of those polled, 24 per cent thought height was a moot point.
An overwhelming majority (70 per cent) of men polled thought the ideal woman should not have any children with only 15 per cent saying it did not matter and 10 per cent ready to tolerate one child.
Few men prefer a woman with two children (three per cent) and even fewer (two per cent) would like her if she had three or more. Only nine per cent of the men in the survey prefer a woman with more education than them, but the highest number (45 per cent) would like someone with whom they are at par. Just 20 per cent want someone with less education and another 26 per cent thought it did not matter either way.
Half of those polled prefer a woman who earns less money than they do, 35 per cent wanting those that earned the same and 15 per cent keen on those who get less than them. Again, 50 per cent of the men polled preferred a woman who works part-time while 39 per cent were fine with women who worked full time. Just 11 per cent wanted women who did not work at all.
Financial decisions
The power struggle in relationships does not, however, spill over into money as 70 per cent of the men polled would prefer a woman who makes financial decisions jointly with them. Only 17 per cent are comfortable making all the financial decisions on their own, against four per cent who would leave financial decision-making to the woman. A sizeable nine per cent said it did not matter.
Although women like to think that men are all the same, age seems to make them as different as day and night. Kenyan men seem better and more open-minded in the lower age brackets.
Younger men, for instance, are markedly different from their middle-aged and older counterparts in their preferences. Those between 18 and 25 find strong independent Kenyan women very attractive and a good match for them while those who are over 35 see the same women as too intimidating and too much trouble.
More men aged between 26 and 35 would like to have sex with their future wife on the first date than any other age group polled, with a significant number across the board keen on action after five dates.
Those between 18 and 25 would like to wait until they are married or at least after they are engaged. The same group had the highest number of people who did not think it did not matter.
For men who are 35 years or older, cultural background is the most important determiner of their current relationship, followed by character and health, then trailed by level of education, love and affection, financial status and age, with physical appearance as the least consideration.
Men between 26 and 35 years old place emphasis on a woman’s level of education, followed by love and affection, financial status, character, health and physical appearance, with age and then cultural background.
Men between 18 and 25 are smitten by good looks, conscious of age, interested in financial status before they figure out how much love and affection exists in their current relationships. Health, character and cultural background then follow, with the woman’s level of education being the least important factor.


Survey sought to find answers to love crisis
Relationships have become the currency of conversation in Kenya, and one of the questions women are grappling with is: What do men want?
Last year, the Sunday Nation laid bare the crisis facing Kenya – that many women, especially in urban centres, were single, divorced or separated.
Ms Angela Ambitho, the managing director of Infotrak, says: “There is an increasing trend of women who are not married or divorced and not able to remarry, or separated, who say there are no men. For us, it became interesting to find out from the men what they wanted.
“Are there things Kenyan women are not doing that they ought to be doing; is it a matter of age – that women are concentrating too much on their careers so that by the time their careers stabilise, they are 35 and are unmarriageable?”
Sometimes, even married women seem to be unsure what their men want because they are running around even where they work hard to be the ideal wife.
Interesting observations
One of the interesting observations from the study is that the traditional mindset is quite strong. Many of those polled thought the ideal marriage age is 26 to 35, meaning that there is shift of accent to completing education and settling into a career first before settling down.
This is also evident in the number of respondents who consider financial status as a critical factor in relationships.
Infotrak Research & Consulting set out to discover the ideal woman Kenyan men are looking for.
Interviewers were posted to the country’s eight provinces to question men on what determines relationships in the modern Kenya.
A sample of 1,200 men were interviewed, with married ones constituting 49 per cent of the population, 44 per cent going to the single, 4 per cent being those living with a partner, and the divorced, separated and widowed having 1 per cent each.
The sampling frame was designed using the population proportionate to size and respondents chosen using random sampling. This ensured that every one in the selected areas had an equal chance of being selected in the survey.
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[B]Everyone Brings us happiness: Some by arriving, others by leaving/B]

TYPES OF KENYAN GIRLS

Someone once said that Kenya has the most beautiful girls in Africa. People can debate on that all day however the one thing we would all agree on is the uniqueness of Kenyan women in terms of their characters and stereotypes. Blogger let me take shot at a guide to kenyan women below. Agree or disagree, it is quite entertaining to read. The crew here at Kenyan girls relationship blog have been talking about the different categories all week. We got nothing but love for our Kenyan sisters. Enjoy!!



Some of the stuff may not sit well with some people because it may be adversely mentioning them. This is my opinion and is subject to change. 
We hope somebody soon crafts a foolproof guide to Kenyan men soon.
Foolproof guide to Kenyan women. Enjoy…!?


1) Alice the Alcoholic.
Most of her facebook statuses are about how she is going to get wasted,got wasted, or missed work coz she slept till midday on a Tuesday. Proudly says how she had whiskey, gin and tonic or tequila with her lunch(this lot have long graduated to serious drinks not these ma-blackices). Buys her own drinks, has a nice job, 3 ton chip on her shoulder.

Chances of being a good wife or girlfriend…nil.


2) Betty the Bitter Single Mum.
At every table, in every bar or restaurant in this country, there is a bitter single mum. She casually calls the father of her kid ‘ bastard’ and has man issues that would make FIDAs most male bashing lawyer look like a geisha. Men are dogs, she says. Then spends the rest of the night whining how Kenyan men are too insecure they cant date a single mum.

Single_moms_569815370.jpg
Date-ability depends on how bad her bitterness is.



3) Cathy the Cougar

She may be a jeisty Karen wife, or a shrubbing farmer from Nyeri, but increasingly Kenya’s dating scene is becoming the hunting ground for old women with money to burn on young men. Dont be fooled. She only wants you for your body. You arent allowed to shag anyone else and must be at her beck and call. If at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday she calls you up and tells you to meet her…you move your fecking A$ chap chap.
Your mum would have a heart attack if she found out you are doing her.
Your bank manager would have a heart attack if you stopped doing her.
If you manage to rock her world, she will ask you to marry her. Good luck having any respect in society.




 4) Dorothy the Divorcee
Her ex-husband shagged anything in a skirt. Now she is in the market earnestly trying to show him up. Prefers more mature and working men. Your future prospects depend on how much one man’s trash can 
really be another man’s treasure.


5) Emma Evil
Mean, rude, stingy and unfortunately gorgeous as hell. Knows she is beautiful and thinks that gives her carte blanche to do whatever she likes. Has no concept of guilt or remorse. You wouldnt be surprised if you found a human skull and occult paraphanelia in her wardrobe.

6) Fifi the Freak
She certainly is very…ahem…popular. Goes home with a different guy every friday and you know at least seven of your pals whom she has been with.



Boss, stay away from this chick, unless you dont mind getting rashes in personal places.


7) Gladys goody-two-shoes.
Every sentence has one of these words. ” church, pastor, bible, salvation,sin, holy, no.” She is the girl with the ankle length skirts, bible in her handbag, who wont meet you in a bar coz its a sin, goes for prayer meetings every night and carries annointing oil with her.

Unless you are actually a committed christian man looking for a wife, stay away from her or risk being struck by lightening.


 8) Harriet the Hustler
We all know atleast one chick like this. She is always on her phone, talking in machine-gun speed vernacular doing deals about plots, kukus or farm produce. Can sell you anything you want from a car to a tractor to an eigth in rongai. Just give her five minutes and some airtime.


Annoying as girlfriends this lot make better wives, as long as you know that while cheating is forgiveable, losing her money is not.


9)Immaculate, who is anything but immaculate.
Spent her early 20s living it up, being shagged by politicians and musicians. Now in her late 20s/ early 30s she is turning a new leaf and is looking for a husband. She has changed all her friends, uses her middle name so that her former identity doesnt get discovered, joined a conservative church and is practicing secondary virginity.

We all have a past, so if you are a mature and forgiving, understanding man…date her. But most men are shallow hypocrites who run for the hills when they find out she was once secretary to the cabinet.


10) Jane the Joker
28 years old. No job. No income. Lives with her parents. Didnt finish University, is always doing some wierd short courses. Has no drive but drives a souped up car. Thinks daddy will always bethere to provide.


Wants a rich man to make her his housewife. Doesnt cook, clean or talk to poor people.


11) Kate from Karen
Snobbery in designer jeans. Kate only mixes within ‘her social class’. Prefers twitter to facebook and tells you to your face that she rejected your friend request ” coz we just work together, i mean, its not like we are friends friends. But we can still do email.” Your car must be german, clothes itallian and she will not show up if the restaurant isnt japanese or turkish. Has never been east of moi avenue. Holidays in Bali while you holiday in Nyali.

Date her if you are old money. You may get away with being new money so long as its a lot of new money.


12) Laura Loud-Mouth
Gossips like a fishmonger’s wife. Everything and aything you tell her will soon be public knowledge. Has a loud annoying voice, loud annoying laugh and only an idiot would date her let alone marry her.Has no real friends, loves being the centre of attention and conversation. Is a pathological liar.

13) Moody Molly
One minute she is all rainbows and butterflies the next she is a tsunami of anger and tears. Her extreme mood swings scare you and you instictively move back slightly if she has a knife, even if its a bread knife in a restaurant.


14) Nelly the clingy Nag
She calls you at 6 to say good morning. At 8 to find out if you got to work okay. Sends you three texts, writes on your wall and calls you twice before lunch, She always wants to be with you and gives you annoying petnames. Goes ballistic or naggy when you say you cant see her.




15) Sally Shagzmodo
 
‘Wow djon, ndhis is a ravry les-toe-lant.’ Hotter than a somalia summer you try and ignore the mother tongue interference, accent and wierd perfume. You focus on the hourglass figure, flawless skin and hope to heaven that she wont ask the maitre d if she can have some ugali rather than spaghetti with her meatballs.  

  
16) Tanya Too-Good-To-Be-True
She cooks like a chef, has a hot figure, sharp mind and good sense of humour. She loves football and rugby, your boys like her, your family adores her and ever since you met her your life has been perfect.Extensive background checks have revealed nothing untoward about her past,she comes from a good-normal family, is loving and will make a great wife and mother.
 
Run. This chick will sacrifice you to some idol somewhere in karura forest.


17) Vivian the Virgin
After being in C.U. all thru high school and university, Vivian has decided she now wants to taste the forbiden fruit. But only if you are going to marry her. As in, you have met her parents and started brideprice negotiations.
She talks about marriage on the first date.


18) Wendy the Wannabe
Wendy name drops, has fb pictures of her with famous people and is constantly looking for the next celebrity event or club opening. Within two minutes of meeting you she has already asked what you drive,where you live and where you work. If you answer you dont have a car, live in eastlands and are tarmacking she will sneer, despite the fact that all three are true for her as well.


    


    
   



19) Yasmin
Yasmin is a muslim. She may even wear a buibui. But when she comes over to your house she drinks alcohol and eats pork. No pun intended. Okay, pun intended. She wont be seen with you in public and if her dad finds out an infidel has taken the fidelity of his daughter there will be a fatwa and jihad on your A$.

Marrying her means changing religions. 


20) Zipporah Manzi wa Mtaa
Listens exclusively to genge and reggae, knows every matatu on their home route down to the specifications of the music system. When you suggest watching Karate Kid at the cinema she tells you not to waste 2k, you can get a dvd of it for 50 bob, buy some nyama and napoleon brandy and watch it at home.

You dont know whether to be happy or sad.
Your