If there is one think i can spend my whole salary on is clothes. I love shopping. But i am a conscious buyer. I always shop for bargains and sales and discounts. So, if u wanna shop on a budget, i am gonna list you down the best places u can get your money's worth and what to buy, when to buy it.
MR.PRICE....WHERE THE PRICE IS NOT RIGHT
i don't like the store. Never have, never will. They charge crazy prices for the most stupid things. Take for example a woolen Marvin. That thing costs 1,100. U can buy the same thing brand new downtown for 200. Granted, its a Kenyan uniform and most probably 50percent of the Kenyan population has it. Am not a fan of having the same outfit as a scholar. So if Ur more into the whole unique look, u can head down to muthurwa and get that Marvin second hand and for as low as 100shs. They always have these Price to go sales every now and then. But thing is, those clothes are either too hideous, too worn out or just not worth being used as rags. Why should i buy a top for as mush as 2200 when i can get a prettier one of much better quality at 300bob?
WHERE TO BUY...THE ACCESSORIES
OK. i get the whole proud of your heritage crap but that doesn't mean u walk around looking like Ur wearing dried beans in your ears. The whole African accessories look is SO last season. Don't get stuck in a trend. And in any case, walking around looking like i have on plastic jewellery never jazzed me. So, looking for some really classy accessories? Check out moi avenue. There is this stall right next to Union towers past The beauty cosmetics shop. These guys are know their stuff. Their pieces are sooo original and long lasting. Granted, they are a bit more expensive than the regular stuff. But its nothing that will make you miss paying your rent
GARRISA LODGE.....WHAT U DIDN'T KNOW
Most people shop at garrissa lodge. But what most people don't know is how and where to shop at Garrissa. Most clothing stores and exhibitions in town buy their stock from wholesale shops at garrissa. There are two types of cloth vendors at garrissa. Whole sellers who only sell in bulk and retailers who sell singular clothes. I my dear friend only buy from the wholesale shops. Nope, i don't buy clothes in bulk. I just go to the whole sellers and strike up a deal. I see a dress i like and try to get the guy to sell it to me. Most of them refuse to sell. But you will always get one guy who wont pass up an offer to make a buck. OK. so here are some items which you should not buy more than the price i have listed
jeans-750
girl tops-500
poncho-1200
small shirts-450
dresses-900
trench coats-1500
if u buy those cheap shoes outside the stalls that cost around 300, you are in for a real shocker. They are of such poor quality that they will snap with two wears. buy your shoes in those corner shops that exclusively deal with shoes. U will get gladiator heels for about 1600 and stilettos for 1800
handbags in garrissa are just too damn expensive. but they are cute and of good quality.
so, if u haven't been to garrissa, just board a number 17 bus and head on there. Mark u, make sure u have Ur money safely tucked away and u dress down. That route is crazy. So, go to garissa and support our ever growing population of illegal aliens who don't pay taxes.
TOWN NIGHT MARKET
EXHIBITIONS.
I have nothing good to say about buying stuff at exhibitions in town. Only stupid people do that. Why buy something so mediocre like a shirt for as much as 1200 when you can get the exact same thing from garrissa at 400? why? The only thing you should buy in town is fast food and those pirated movies for 50bob. Example, if you go shop at the exhibitions around the bazaar, you will be stunned. Kwanza they are owned by these silly Indians who wont talk to black people. F you! this country is ours. Keep away from this old Indian woman with brown specs. She is very rude and doesn't like it when you touch stuff. I highly suspect the Bras and the panties they sell there are second hand and probably formerly owned by that old hag. Coz they they are so hideous that she is the only one who can possibly have worn them. Plus they smell like her. I can recognise that cheap perfume a mile away. 4 real. This topic is not even worth me arguing about. I rest my case.
MAASAI MARKET
a way for Kenyans to get back the money stolen from them during the colonial days from the whites. Am telling you, these guys are ripped off like no ones business. If you just hear the prices these white people buy for stuff u will be wondering if they will be getting a title deed with it. But seriously. This place knows how to make the African style look cool. Buy some bracelets and and bangles to complete your look. Plus their safari themes shirts are really trendy. If you don't have a Kenyan flag shirt then shame on you. These really come in handy during rugby season. Who dares go to the Black rock or Safari sevens without a Kenyan flag shirt? U will look like a Gor fan lost central province. Yap. that awkward.
THE GREAT RIFT VALLEY VIEW POINT
If Ur heading to nakuru or anywhere those sides, make sure to stop by this place and buy something. You will find some really friendly Maasai selling stuff from animal skin hats to beaded accessories. Make a point of buying the animal skin hats. Granted, you cannot wear them anywhere. But just think how cool Ur profile pic will look if u take a pic in it. Make sure to leave your initials in the wooden fences around there. Its kind of a tradition. Will be heading there next week and will get to see if the initials i left 5 years ago are still there.
So, people. Get your shopping caps on. And remember....money cant buy you love, but it sure can buy you a nice pair of shoes.
Kenyan men are probably the most versatile breed of people to come into existance. They come in all shapes and sizes and have can tend to hide their true nature. When it comes to dating, this poses a hard task for women in identifying the men they are with. Here is my take on what how to spot what breed of kenyan ur with
SUPER SENSITIVE STEVE
This is the guy you dumped because he was too nice. He would carry your handbag for you, called you 5 times a day and cried when you broke up him.He probably is always talking about marriage and has already picked out baby names. He always wants to talk about feelings and stuff. Most probably working at some boring nine to five job. U met him at some singles semminar where he was the only guy. if ur dating this guy, run! There is only room for one chic in the relationship
Plus? well, he loves cuddling
Bummer? He always uses your shampoo
BUFF BRIAN
This guy is on every imaginable steroid in the market. He is probably a gym instructor or you always find him in the gym. He wears tight fitting clothes that make him look like a ball of muscle. This guy is either a male gigolo or is always flirting with the ladies. He is the guy that ever chic has his number as the rebound guy or the booty call. Most probably unemployed and has some rich sugar mummy financing him
Plus side? he doesn't talk so much
Bummer? u always have Ur gynaecologist number on speed dial
THE IGWES
U met him at some club in westie on Friday. Probably Galileo's. He was sitting alone having a drink and checking you out. He winks at you and you wink back. The rest as they say, is history. Then begins a whirling romance with him. But wait. suddenly, you cant wear short skirt or tight clothes. U cant go out with your friends. He expects you to be home before him and have a big dinner waiting for him. He is slowly pushing for you to leave your job and to be 100percent reliant on him. This guy is still stuck in the dark ages where women were just for reproduction. This guy will insist on a traditional wedding and may even take a second wife. He expects you to get pregnant the same week you got married.
plus side? paid a nice dowry
bummer? bye bye skinny jeans
GEORGY POGGY
This guy will probably grow up to be the uncle who cannot be left home with the kids. The well know child molester. Currently, he is the class pervert who is always taking pictures of chicks asses or the guy from work who always has his hands in his pants. He is a regular at nearly all brothels. He loves hooking up with random chicks.You probably met him online. His phone is filled with naked pics and lets not even get started with his porn collection at home. He probably got fired from his last job for sexual molestation. Works in the IT profession as most perverts are IT guys. He will bang anything in a skirt
Plus side? he can forget Ur his girlfriend and leave you a tip in the morning
Bummer? he prefers the back door
BROKE-ASS BENJI
He always forgets his wallet at home all the time the two of you go out. He borrows money from you and has not paid back even a dime. He has baby mommas front, right and center. All his money goes to the court filled child support he is paying to his baby mommas. He is a lousy dad and even lousier boyfriend. girl! Just pick up TLC hit record No Scrubs and listen to it. i swear you will have an epiphany. I am all for dating all kind of people.but seriously? He cant pay for his dinner? See ya!
plus side? he has cute babies
bummer? baby momma drama
SAMMY THE SINGLE DAD
U met him at the park with his kids. Apparently, his baby momma left him for some other guy or wasn't ready to settle down. Dating this guy is like walking on a thin rope. He is always cancelling dates. Either his sons dog died or has the flu or maybe the baby sitter cancelled. You feel like you are always competing for his attention. There is nothing much i can say about this group because our country needs great dads like him. But that doesn't mean that you are of any less importance. Evaluate yourself and analyse how much baggage you can handle.
Plus side? he ain't afraid of commitment
Bummer? his daughter hates you
THE WOMEN BASHERS
These men hate women. They see nothing good in them. They probably had a bad experience with their previous girlfriend or had mothers who abandoned them when they were little. Most of these guys are players and don't have any remorse about playing a woman. They are the kind of guys who like talking about the stuff they did with their girlfriend and refer to the women in their lives as whore or gold diggers.
Plus side? you definitely know all he is not the one
Bummer? all his pals know about secret fetish
MANNY THE MOMMA'S BOY
This guy has never had to do any work thanks to his possessive mother. He probably works at his dads company as some irrelevant position they made just for him. He goes to work once a month. To pick up his paycheck. Dating him is like raising a toddler. He leaves his clothes everywhere and wont clean up after himself. He is always having his friends over at your place. To make matters worse, his mom always checks up on him to see if he has had a regular bowel movement ever 2hours.
Plus side?you get to have your own baby. minus the stretch marks and dirty diapers
Bummer? his mom doesn't think Ur good enough for him
PAUL THE POLITICIAN
This guy knows everything about anything that is going on around the word. He thinks you are arrogant for not following up with current affairs and stuff like that. He is always talking politics and about controversial issues. He always has an opinion on everything and is the guy who always starts arguments in bars. He is either an unemployed lawyer or a former politician. He makes you miss your favourite soap opera to watch some stupid documentary about obama. This guy also tends to be quite snoopy and will put some tracking software in your phone.
Plus side? he is like a walking encyclopedia
Bummer? he is unbearable during election season
CHARLES THE CHUBBY CHASER
These are men who have a strange fetish for fat women. They will only date women past the 100kg mark. Dont laugh. These kind of men are increasing and usually try to fatten up their girlfriends. He always says stuff like, i like women with meat on their bones. I really dont get this whole weirdness.
Plus side? wont bug you about ur love handles
Bummer? he really needs therapy
MAINA KAGENI FANS
This is the lot of guys who i am really sceptical about the most. cmon! A guy who is always on the radio in the morning listening to kenyan women talking about their non-performing husbands? This is the same lot who always listens to kiss fm's rush hour dramma and are a fan of easy fms ciku's busted. They even like phoning in to give their two cents of advice. I cannot trust a man who seeks advice about women from a gay guy.
Plus side? he loves yor favourite soaps
Bummer? he is a closet gay
