Saturday, 6 August 2011

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NAIROBI

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NAIROBI

Married or older women are the most controversial kind of people there is. But the ones from Kenya's capital are even more intriguing. This in an in depth analysis of these kinds of women from Nairobi.

MAMA PIMA MBOGA
This woman is a real hustle.Her hubby is some dead beat guy who is either too lazy to work or is lost his job because of his excessive drinking. She probably has a horde of kids and miraculously sends them all to school. She has borrowed from every shop within her reach. She owns that small kiosk that sells greens or has a small hotel that she cooks for construction workers. Her hubby is always goes missing in action on Friday evening and is found in a nearby ditch totally drunk and messed on himself.

MAMA CHAMA.
This is the woman everybody in the estate fears. She is the head of the local women's chama and her hubby is probably some rich bloke who funds her reign of terror. Her friends are just a bunch of parrots who agree on everything she says and are too scared to question her. She is the kind to mistreat her house help and can be easily mistaken for a Nigerian woman. She cares more about social status than anything else. She is very vain and will most probably make her husband bankrupt

MAMA PLOT
She is the extremely nosy woman living in your plot. She knows everything about you and your husbands marital problems and usually send her son to spy on you. Her windows are always open so that she can listen in on peoples conversations. She lives right nest to the main gate so that she can see all the people who are entering and leaving her house. She is so preoccupied with other peoples lives that she fails to notice that her husband is already shacking up with the help

MAMA BOI
This is the woman who cannot live without a maid. she is rarely seen at home and her kids are usually raised by the maid. Since the maid has more interest in chatting up the watchman, the kids are usually left unattended to and are seen wandering everywhere in the estate. She is probably a young woman moving up the career ladder or just too young to know better. She is the woman who you saw on KTN whose kid was stolen by the house help.

SUGAR MAMA
This is the rich old lady whose hubby just died. She drives a sauced up beamer. She has expensive tastes and loves the company of young men. She is the official cougar in the hood. Young women are scared of her because they know how easily she can get their boyfriends. She has no morals and the only force that drives her is not grief, but her ever growing libido

BABY MAMA
She is the woman who thought it was a good idea to trap a guy into marriage by having his baby. She is either married. Or happily scaring off any woman who shows interest in her baby's dad. Should you marry this woman's hubby, yours will be a life filled with so much drama only found on crappy soap operas.

MAMA PIMA
She is the lady who owns an illegal liquor breweries in her house. She makes illegal liquor at the back yard of her house. Every changaa ridden man in the area swears by her and claim that she makes the best changaa in the area. She has been operating this business for decades now and has surprisingly never been arrested. Maybe the fact that some officers are her customers and get free drinks is a plus. she is responsible for growing number of people loosing their sight. good thing she has a blind persons discount.

MADAM
She is the weird looking woman who runs a brothel in her house. She takes young innocent girls from the upcountry and lures them into the trade.A former call girl herself, she is unmarried and mostly spend her days drinking and smoking. Her compound is filled with scantly clad young girls. Big cars roll in and out of her compound. Her clients include very rich men. You are relieved to hear that she has been arrested for soliciting prostitution. Then you find out your hubby was on her regular clientele list.

18 comments:

fboy said...

where can i meet the suga mama in Nairobi?

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frank said...

hello,im frank from tanzania
male 32 yrs old, i want to met shugamama 35-45 yrs

frank said...

Anonymous frank said...

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Aggrey John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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