What not to do after getting dumped

Erase Your Ex

• Posted on Jan 28, 2011 7:44 AM by njixx
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Getting dumped can send even the sanest among us into a tailspin, but giving in to tearful rants and behaviour that will get you into trouble just because you’re hurting isn’t always the best idea. Here are our picks for the biggest post-breakup no-no’s.

Stalking him

We know it’s tempting to see what he’s been up to since breaking your heart, but constantly checking his Facebook page to see where he’s been, who he’s been with and what he’s doing will just drive you crazy. Do yourself a favor and delete him as a friend so you limit your avenues for social media stalking.

Holding onto his stuff

If the breakup wounds are still raw and all you can think about is him, go through your apartment and get rid of anything that belonged to him or reminds you of him, including gifts he bought for you. If you can’t go through with tossing or donating items, give them to a friend to hang onto until you’re better equipped emotionally to see them every day.

Texting or calling him

If he broke up with you, he probable doesn’t want to continue getting your calls and texts. We know how frustrating it can be when a relationship ends badly or you still have unanswered questions, but obsessively trying to get in touch with him will only make things worse.  He’ll get annoyed and you’ll come off as completely desperate – definitely not an ideal post-breakup situation.

Contacting his friends

If they were mutual friends, staying in touch is fair game. But if you’re bothering his best buds for the goods on what he’s up to and whether or not he’s seeing anyone new, it’s time to back away and leave them out of the picture. The less you know the better when it comes to trying to get over an ex.

Holding out hope

Everything happens for a reason, so do your best to start healing rather than wasting time and energy holding out hope for reconciliation. If things were left ambiguous, or you’re just “on a break” there might be a chance you’ll get back together. But if the breakup felt final (as in he no longer loves you), hoping he’ll change is mind won't do you any favors. As hard as it is to let go, it’s the only way you’ll be able to move forward.

How to bounce back after a breakup

Feel Better
After A Split

• Posted on Mar 31, 2011 12:13 PM by shee

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Though a breakup can make you feel like your life is over, try not to let it stop you in your tracks. Here are some strategies you can implement to bounce back after a breakup.

Don't be a hermit.

We know: All you want to do is mope around the house in your pajamas. Don't let yourself be a hermit after a breakup, though. Get out there and reconnect with your friends. Your relationship may have taken away time from your girlfriends, so reach out and make plans to see your BFFs more regularly. You'll have a good time and heal much faster being around people who care about you.

Change things up.

Get your morning coffee from a cafe you've never visited. Listen to new music. Take a new class at the gym. Stretch your culinary skills by trying new recipes. By deliberately doing things differently than you did when your ex was around, you'll prove to yourself that life goes on -- and that there are always new things to discover no matter how sad you feel.

Get creative.

Minimize any pent-up frustration with creativity. Start that novel you've always wanted to write, rediscover your love of photography or take a pottery class -- anything that will get you out of your current negative mindset and out of your own head. Being creative is a great way to let go of sadness and tap into talents you might not realize you have.

Update your look.

Improve your outlook and your self esteem by getting a makeover, a new haircut and some new clothes.  You'll feel better knowing that you're making an effort to better yourself. Plus, you'll have a whole new look that represents positive change rather than the negative status quo.

Branch out.

If you can't remember the last time you left your neighborhood for anything other than a doctor's appointment or work function, it's time to do some exploring. Grab some friends and make plans to have dinner or drinks across town or head to some galleries or a museum you've never had time to check out. Getting away from all the places you used to frequent with your ex will help you get over him, and you'll find some great bars, cafes and restaurants you can call your own.