Friday, 22 July 2011

OF LOVE, LUST AND NIGERIAN MEN

Kenyan women are developing a crazy fantasy for nigerian men. Today ask any single kenyan urban woman what kind of man she is looking for and i bet 'nigerian' is one of the qualities she will put forth. I just dont get it? what's goin on here??? wats with the ' i want a naija man' obsession? 


The first explanation derives from a Nigerian man’s concept of a woman. Kenyan men see women as one thing.
 But Nigerian men see the opposite: a divine being, deserving the best things in life and befitting a royal treatment. A Kenyan guy will take a chick out on a date and expect an instant withdrawal of pleasure tantamount to the cash he’s spent, but a Nigerian man’s aim is for the lady to thoroughly enjoy the night with no expectation but that she feels special. Where a Kenyan boy is busy calculating the cost vs pudding ratio, the Naija broda is calculating the cost = happiness ratio and spoiling this young lady well well. The Kenyan guy will focus on her body, the Naija man will only hope to see the smile on his companions face. The guy will take her to the best restaurant, order the best meal, best champagne, focus on her conversations (most Kenyan men think a date is an interview with Oprah & spend the whole night talking about themselves) and expect nothing but the joy of knowing she is happy. After a great evening, he will drop her home (sober) and beg to see her again.
On the contrast, the Kenyan man has done his best to get his date high and uses the old ‘let me make sure I tuck you into bed’ excuse to get into her pants (that is a very stupid expression…how can a man want to get into your pants? It’s you he wants to get into, not your underwear). The Naija guy will give her a soft hug then walk away heading back to his car & it’s at this point that the chick goes all weak, breaks her defences and asks ‘Aren’t you coming in’ and gives the broda all that she’s got. The Kenyan guy, on the other hand, wakes up next to a hangovered chick who curses herself for allowing him to sneak into her banye and throws him out, never to return. Poor bastard! The Naija bloke gets a 6 month visa + first class tickets to kandahar but the Kenyan gets deported after the first day.


Different Game Play


Men are hunters; it’s just the game that differs. Kenyan men hunt for easy game, devour and get back to the hunt. It’s tantamount to buying a fake Chinese t-shirt…you know that after 3 washes it shall fade, but as its cheaper than an authentic one you still go ahead & purchase it. After 3 washes it fades and you go back to buy the self-same useless t-shirt that will fade after 3 washes. A Nigerian man get sense now, he will buy the authentic t-shirt that will handle 50 washes, making it economical vis-à-vis the Chinese replica.
Good women, quality women don’t come cheap (I don’t mean purchasing price but maintenance cost) and Naija men understand this and they are prepared to do whatever it takes to meet the pecuniary prerequisites of the merchandise. I hear Kenyan women whining ‘How can she call us merchandise, she makes us sound materialistic’…shut up, you know you are! Your hair, your clothes, your shoes, your nails, your car, your gym membership, your spa treatment, your diet pills, your rent, your fuel, your jewellery ALL make you a financial liability…so shut it! Now where were we, yes, a Kenyan man would run away from such a lady, labelling her as high maintenance but a Nigerian man will perceive her as a diamond requiring certain ‘necessities’ to stay shinning and he will provide them because he knows if his diamond shines, he shines. And if he polishes her essence she too shall in turn polish him.
Kenyan men are known as players because they have one chick here, another there and the other in the waiting to be here or there. They do their best to juggle all three (or more) at the same time but get busted and end up on the kandahar restricted entry list. Your face is emailed to all kandahars in the country, with the warning ‘Do not allow passage’ under your picture, destroying any chance of getting further action thanks to the UBS (United Banye Sisterhood). A Nigerian, on the other hand, will focus on one ‘mission’ at a time. He go chop am well well, then move to the next target, avoiding the wrath of the UBS and leaving a trail of satisfaction, respect and a ‘return anytime’ invitation. You see, just because you don’t intend to settle with the lady it doesn’t mean you disrespect her. Give her the attention she deserves, the respect she deserves, the affection she deserves and when the fun expires give her the send-off she deserves. Chopping another when you are with her is just not the Nigerian way.

Impressions Matter


Many people perceive Naija  in kenya as business executives (they drive luxury cars & wear very expensive designer clothes) but they are not. Often women come up and ask me what profession those nijos are and being the ‘ask all & tell none’ gal that I am I simply ricochet the question and ask them ‘Which profession do you think they are in?’ This is where it gets funny, I get all types of up market job titles from bankers, to musicians, to lawyers…but if only they knew. So I smile and go ‘Yes, you are right’ and they play along.
Is that wrong? No! They never said they were bankers, lawyers or musicians they created the impression based on their self-perception (you don’t have to be a banker to be proud of your being, you can be a hawker but carry yourself with the pride of a banker). They never consciously duped anyone into thinking they are not who they are BUT this is a mistake a lot of Kenyan men do, they verbally lie about who they really are. I was once at Hilton in Nairobi and sat at the bar as I waited for my dad. A few tables away were a couple chatting away & having a great time. The man was having a beer and the lady had a glass of red wine in her hand and they were having a great time. The man was busy promulgating his business deals to this lady and she was mightily impressed. He went on and on about how much money he makes, the cars he owns and his big house…I too was impressed. Then some guy (a prominent but very modest Kenyan business man) walks in and then he calls his driver- the guy with the big money, the cars and the massive house- to take him to another venue…abeg you should have seen the lady’s face o, kai!
Creating a false perception of who you are will always land you into trouble for the day the truth is out, the UBS (United Banye Sisterhood) will send out a memo and you are back to wankin my son. Nigerian men don’t lie, verbally, about their disposition but leave it to the perception of the observer to place them into a stereotype that they wish, and they in turn accommodate the selected slot. I mean, who wouldn’t…if you’re thinking a guy is a lawyer will get him laid then hey, your honour I rest my case. If his dressing leads you to think he is a banker and is going to get laid because of it then hey, let him handle your assets baby. So long as he never said he is a lawyer or a banker he is blameless; you assumed he was and gave him some under this assumption. u can learn a great deal from Naija  I tell you.


Understand Her Needs


I was told that in Abuja, if a guy wants to sleep with a chick he buys her a car or a house. Ati what!! Kwaniama these Abuja women have what types of sistas? A car? A house? Na wah o! After several exclamations of ‘what the ’ I sobered down to as why. Ati, the reason is…hehehehehehe…get this, she has needs. Oga God, abeg what’s up with you o, si you could have made me an Abuja woman o- I’d be driving the latest Jaguar and I’d be living in a 15 room mansion, a yatch and a helicopter…I swear I’d be a whore. I would set up a 3 year  plan to get a house, a swimming pool, a car, a helicopter, a yatch, a private jet, YOTE! I’d have business cards written ‘tanya baby’…anytime…any style…any day! there is no soap for one to ‘assist’ themselves
Now imagine a Kenyan man in Abuja trying to get a gal, what does the poor bastard have to offer vis-à-vis a car/house? ‘Oh my dear, you have nice eyes’…abeg she go slap you o. Or ‘Si we go to Java then for a movie after’…wuuuuiiiiiiiiii. Kenyan men don’t understand the needs of a woman. When a Nigerian man sees a woman, he seeks what value he can add to her life; how he go better her as they say. If she is walking, he will tell her ‘I go buy you car’. If she is staying with her parents he will tell her ‘I go buy you house’. He wants to add value to her life. A Kenyan man, wuuuiiiiiiiiiii, just sees how he go better his libido at the cheapest rate. He finds a way of how he go better his ego by showing off that he’s slept with you to his mates. The man na be selfish o. A Naija man will get some because he is adding value to the individual, unlike the Kenyan man who tries to grab a slice from a department without paying homage to the individual.

34 comments:

cheupe said...

All the women in Abuja who have ever been darted have a car hehehe. Yaani per capita car ownership ya hio nation iko aje? wacha kutuenjoy wewe.

Anonymous said...

Well what i can say is with Kenyan women who think Nija men are all that good and caring should think twice i had a Nija room-mate and he had Nija Girl friend and they used to fight all the time because he was no good to her even to me and i got experince with Nija man but only this one he would bring other Nija mens in the apartment and what i experienced with them left me with life time woulds.This guy one day he came with another and he had told her he lives with his sister so when they came in i was there and he called the Nija girlfriend to have a secret chat so that she could agree he was a brother but i tell it was a something terrible when they started making love the Nija girl friend want her share so she used to come to my door and start calling me want something and i refuses so in the morning when start cooking to they start shouting in there lang... which i did not understand after one day he went to see her and next thing he poured hot chocolate on to her i had to rush her to hospital and she lied to the doctors so the guy disap... for a week with other girl friend and then they returned back so i had i to call her Nija women to come and stay with her.So after a while other girl friend went to work and one came back and found them having sex she call police think that her boy friend was raping his own sister so the truth come out and i had to move out so when you told about the Nija mens they are no good not all but must of them if you have not traveled out Kenya give a try and go with Nija man sharing the same passport and you will tell go like to EUROPE or US and you will tell me by the thing took my 5000.USD. From my account the are FUCKED inside and they a full of shits so get a Nija man for the material things you see on tv. his only acting and by the we can Kenyan man we are very respected in the whole world and if you do not have a respect for has get fuck out our live and stop that.Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

Na wai OH...some 419 don carry your mind away girl. All you got do is accept the nija man, let him think you his woman and the beating gonna start.....Woman aint nothin but talk talk bout the dream and you don won wake up alone princess - no car, no house, no happy no more..

Anonymous said...

Ths tha damest theory evr, yu evn aint fit 2 b a kenyan chq.

Harun Ar said...

Wah info sangat menarik... Saya suka Kenya....
Oh ya ..., aku unduh gambar ini ya, untuk koleksi. Terima kasih

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Anonymous said...

Just off topic..I think Kenyan women are extremely beautiful. Being South African, we encounter the same black on black labeling and stereotyping as we live in a country with diverse languages and sub cultures. I honestly don't agree with the above statement because the manner in which a man perceives/treats women is nt exactly determined by his nationality but by his upbringing...basically you can't put a label on kenyan men cause nt all men are the same. In my opinion I sense an unfair bias for Nigerian men in ur tone..which is possibly based on ur materialistic point of view.

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